Stories

On Burnout.

When burnout happens, it’s time to love yourself with abandon + break out one small but mighty sentence: I quit.

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A story on Burnout: Loving Mirror Walk

I walked next to a friend, in the crisp, late fall air. The heat generated from the first two miles let me know I’d need a shower when I got home, no matter how much i vented my coat. A fellow prolific creative, heart-centered momma, and woman finding her way to joy, we never tire of topics to connect over. 

As an enneagram two, I invited her to share her recent experiences first; create that safe container for friendships. I used to think I did this because I didn’t think that much of myself. Now, I know I do it because it’s my nature. 

As we started our second mile, she stopped, turned towards me, and stated 

“Heidi, I don’t know if I could do what you do; sit and create every day at the same time and put out something once a week.”  

As she said this, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. My legs turned as heavy as anchors; I caught my breath. I could tell my defensiveness (i.e. ego) kicked in as my insides were pointing me towards something I already knew, like one of those 1950’s arrowed diner signs. 

“Well, I sat down and wrote my book at the same time every day, it’s a routine that feeds my joy of writing.” my ego spoke back, then the softening occurred. 

“And I have felt like butter scraped over too much bread lately.” my non-ego part of me finished the thought. 

  • The next day, I sat down to write a story and poem. I couldn’t.
  • The day after, I did twelve straight hours of housework and kid..
  • The next, passive-aggressive-resentful Heidi woke up. I could feel her snarky valley girl voice weighing down my spirit. “Like that will ever happen,” “not like they care,” and “God, why can’t my teenagers parent themselves?” circled through my brain like a squeaky merry-go-round. I self-edited so much, I became an introvert.
  • The day after was Monday. With my wife and kids gone to work, I couldn’t open my laptop. It felt like it would be one-thousand pounds. Instead of letting my head go into a death-to-Heidi’s-new-career spiral, I made healthy food and took two naps.
  • Finally, the next day, I woke up and cried. Yes, a breakdown. 

I spent the rest of the week eating and napping. 

The next week, I started wondering what was going on. A word immediately came to me:  Burnout. And it reminded me I’ve been blogging for eighteen months, podcasting for seven, growing Facebook for twelve, and co-hosting a Youtube show + Facebook Group for three. My focus has been on those things. Trying to be more helpful. For more people. Growing too slowly to help, at least in the monetary sense. And the hard truth, I couldn’t keep it all up. No matter how much I wanted to.  

The SoulJourner QUESTion

The Solution >> I journaled about what will help me. The answer: Focus on my book and course. And another word came into my sphere: Alignment. I need to align my focus with who I am. Honor my needs for rest and quiet so I can share my deep, sometimes humorous, insights with you. To do this, I need to quit some things.

My wish for you: May you take time to ask yourself what’s important, and may you remember to bring your self, your vision, your personality, and your needs for self-care right alongside it. The universe wants you brilliant, whole, and loved. For that’s how you were born and how you were made to be. And May you create your very own Burnout Balm to soothe and heal your heart and soul!

The Solution: Burnout Balm

Burnout
Balm:
Loving yourself +
Quitting Forward

Feeling drained every single day?

Wondering if you’re depressed or if you’re experiencing burnout?

​

The answers are inside! Download this Workbook that will help you identify if you have burnout, care for yourself, and filter your life so you can move forward again!

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    A special heartfelt thanks to the teachers who helped me uncover my own Burnout Balm: my walk with my creative friend, Alexandra Taketa’s blog post, and the books: Burnout, Miracle Morning for Entrepreneurs, and Dear Writer, You need to Quit.

    One Big Toe + One Bigger Label

    Twelve Days Until Christmas, 2004

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    I sat there, with my vanity chair drawn next to our bed, in my flannel pjs with the legs rolled up. My ears delighting in the snow tapping on the window pane. The air, a pungent perfume of nail polish. Like a kid on Christmas morning, I reach to my side and cross off two items from my list:

    1. 100 handmade beaded snowmen ornaments. Check.
    2. Perfect toenails for Christmas. Check.

    I look down with pride. Ten glossy red nails and smooth feet. I am so glad that God gave me these feet. If all else fails, I can always be a foot-model. Definitely my top physical quality.

    Three Years + Two kids + One Big Toe later

    The podiatrist continues his lecture, bent over a tray of sterilized shiny objects. I fidget on the table and try not to stare at them. Instead I point and flex my right foot, trying to warm it up without a sock on.

    “So, Heidi, because you didn’t notice your toe hurting until it was too late, this is your only option.” he finishes. A nurse comes into the room with a large needle.

    Well, I bet he wouldn’t remember to do his nails if he had to change and launder 100 diapers a week. Geeze. Maybe it won’t be that noticeable. I can still be a mommy-foot-model.

    Two days later, post ingrown-toenail-surgery, during my kids’ nap, I decide it’s time. I get out a flashlight. I go to the bathroom and survey the wreckage. Up-close, the perfect nail is no more. It’s clean and straight and pain-free. But looks unnatural.

    What am I going to do now? Tears start cascading down my cheeks. I wipe them away faster than a jack rabbit.

    The SoulJourner QUESTion

    Without even knowing it, we all adopt labels, from ourselves and others. Mommy’s-little-helper, slow-learner, loudmouth, spender, saver, good son, good daughter, introvert, extrovert, directionally-challenged, indirect-communicator, Proud-member-of-the-tired-parent’s-club, slacker, workaholic, chocoholic. Mommy-foot-model.

    There’s a price we pay for these labels. We let ourselves become too attached to them. The consequence? Unhelpful labels keep us suffering when we don’t measure up AND hesitating to learn new stuff. Because the label will shout back at us. Hey! You can’t go zip-lining. You’re afraid of heights! or Hey! You’re an introvert, you don’t want to meet those new people. How to master our labels before they master us? Make your labels like a post-it note.

    The Post-it Note Exercise

    Are you hesitant to do something you haven’t before? Are you mad at yourself about how something went? Check in with your labels.

    STEP 1: Find-your-label prompt: Fill in the following
    • Because I am a _____, I don’t want to or feel able to ______.
    • Why do I have to be such a ____? If I wasn’t, I would be able to ________.
    • I was made to be ____________; there’s nothing I can do about it.
    STEP 2: Name it + feel it

    The first part of the sentence is your label. This is a lens you are looking at life through right now. Note how it makes you feel. If it’s not helpful and empowering, it’s time to move onto Step 3.

    STEP 3: Make it a Post-It

    Life is flowing and changing around us. And we give and get different labels at different times. There are two ways you can let go of the grip of your label.

    1) Be like Frozen: It might be time to visualize letting that word go. (Or even writing it down and burning it.)

    2) Make it an ‘and’. Combine it with another label that feels like it contradicts it to you. Here are some of my ‘and’ labels that help me. Divorced AND Happy. Mommy AND Top-Priority. Writer AND Extrovert. Kind AND Assertive. People AND Animal person.

    To be honest, there’s only one label that will let you discover how limitless you are:
    Human Being.👊💕🙏

    PS I just downloaded an affirmations app called “I am…” It has many different types of affirmations and LOADS of empowering labels. Let me know if you try it!

    If you can’t be with the one you love…

    So, if you can’t be with the one you love, do you really have to love the one you’re with? No, but it makes life a whole lot more awesome! A message of love for you for the holiday season! Or, really, any time of year 🙂

    Listen to this

    Dear miraculous and beautiful soul,

    How the hell are you, my friend? Are you ramping up for the holidays or finding some sweet time next to a lit tree or in a cozy nook? Or a little of both? Would love to know how you are taking care of yourself this season.

    Over the past ten years, I’ve gone on a major Christmas-season transformation. From one fraught with parties, perfection, migraines, and lists longer than Santa’s. To one with fewer presents, commitments, and stillness to enjoy the darkness rising. Where are you on that holiday scale? More importantly, how do you feel about where you are at?

    My family jokes every year that I used to hate Christmas. Which isn’t true.

    The Truth>> I used to dread the holidays. All the doing. I am sure it was all the internal beatings I would give myself if things didn’t work out or get done in time. Yep, I was my own Nightmare before Christmas.

    And, even with my resilience and mindfulness tools in my belt, I felt the pressure this holiday season. Pressure to move my business ahead. Faster.

    The Messy Middle >> One day, I woke up and couldn’t work. Instead, I released some big, sad, been-workin-too-much-not-seeing-my-progress emotions. (Yes, I cried.) After beating myself up for a day, I woke up and said enough is enough.

    The Answer >> Next, I opened up to Heather Kokx’s insightful words and gave myself mercy. I sat in long stillness, looking for guidance. And it came. The answer: Love myself. (Is love always the answer? 🧐)

    And no matter if you hate or love all the festivities, may you dig deep to find your balance, your stillness, and your appreciation for the miracle of you.

    So, would you like a quick reminder of how awesome you are? How you need to be a priority in your life? How you need to take care of yourself? 💌Get your Self-Love Letter Mad Libs in the Phoenix Vault. 💌

    Episode 4: Four Steps to your Personal Freedom

    November 2021

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    Hello my dear friend! How are you and how are you taking care of yourself today? Yep, the rumors are true. I took a before-work nap today. Four nights this week, I’ve been in kid-shuffling-around mode at night. And then Elvis, my step-dog, woke me up twice right before wake up time. When my alarm went off, I groaned.

    A little voice inside of me said please to go back to sleep. Then another said suck it up, you’ll be fine. A third said, get your stuff done, get the kids out of the house, and lay back down. Boom. I had my answer.

    On this Thanksgiving eve, I have a word gift for you. You might associate it with a favorite hymn or your Thanksgiving meal. I assure you, this word is not only for church or holidays. The word is

    Grace.

    We sing about grace in the Church. We hope we receive it from God when we have fallen. We give grace for bountiful food and company that nourishes our bodies and souls.

    Going forward, I challenge you to think of Grace in a new way. To take Grace, wrap it up, and give it back to yourself with passionate abandon. Let it rain on you as a watershed of compassion and love and forgiveness. Give yourself grace for being and living the miracle that is You. No matter how you woke up. No matter what “they” said or did. No matter what. Period.

    But I mess up all the time, you might be saying to yourself. What then? You don’t make mistakes. You are not a mistake. You have unexpected, and sometimes uncomfortable, steps along your path. Why? So you learn what you’re meant to. Why? So you can unlock and live your happiness, freedom, and joy.

    So, whadda ya say? Try it with me?

    And would you like to know the three other steps that help me show up every day, guilt-free, worry-free, in joy, with freedom and love for myself? Listen to Heather and I talk Personal Freedom.

    Sending you love, light, grace, and laughter, Heidi Esther

    Live with Heidi and Heather: Episode 4

    Watch Episode 4: Four Steps to Your Personal Freedom

    Did you like the show? Don’t forget to like and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

    The SoulJourner QUESTion

    Three ways to engage Grace.

    1. Will you take the Grace challenge?
    2. Facebook Question of the week: Who embodies Grace to you? Answer on my Facebook page.
    3. Facebook POLL of the week: What word do you most associate with grace? Join & answer in the Live with Heidi and Heather Group.

    Ready for more Live with Heidi and Heather shows? Check out our page.

    Or subscribe to our YouTube Channel!

    SuperStep 5: Getting Stronger

    Welcome to SuperStep 5: Getting Stronger! Here is more info for you on the Everyday Superhero Method. Squashy story is right below! ⬇️

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    Who will win: Heidi or the Squash?

    The warm, autumn afternoon sunshine beamed down on our living room dog bed. Which was repositioned for the third time that day in its journey to stay with the sun. Olive, my Chiweenie, lay over the side with her front paws in prayer position, holding her orange chewy bone.

    don’t pets have the best lives? IKR! read on curious soul >>>

    Live with Heidi and Heather: Episode 003

    Is Happiness a Red Herring?

    Join Heidi Esther and Heather Kokx as they delve into the dark corners of…the ever-elusive Happiness in Episode 003 Happiness.

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    https://youtu.be/Lbrkb73htME

    Or watch on You tube

    The SoulJourner QUESTion

    Calling in my Winnie Exercise

    In the Tao of Pooh, author Benjamin Hoff breaks each A.A. Milne character down into their core way of being. For Winnie the Pooh, he is the epitome of Taoism: he allows life, he lives in present, he is calm and joyful. For all the other characters, they have an overage of something that prevents them from fully enjoying life. If they could only see! (Here’s a slideshow if you want more info on the characters.)

    After this exercise, you’ll be able to see when you’re a little off and Calling in Your Winnie. Embracing the values of Winnie the Pooh will help you find your inner Zen master, literally! More peace. More happiness. More flow. Boom, baby!

    First, please note that it’s totally OKAY to have a favorite character who is NOT Winnie the Pooh! They are all adorable, beautiful, loyal friends.

    STEP 1: Pause

    When you’re feeling crappy or not enjoying all that life has for you, take a break. Take care of yourself. When you’re ready…

    STEP 2: Forgiveness

    Remind yourself:

    • I am Enough.
    • I am a human-in-progress.
    • As such, you will go through all the feelings of all the characters (because you are human)! The key is to just not stay stuck in the unhelpful ones. 🙂

    STEP 3: Congratulate

    Take 30 seconds, a couple deep breaths, and try and cultivate some feelings of Pride. Be proud of yourself (maybe give yourself a bear hug!) for taking time to listen to and

    STEP 4: Identify

    What character most resembles how you are feeling right now?

    Eeyore frets. He assumes the worst and isolates himself. He keeps his head and expectations lower than low.

    Piglet hesitates and, as a result, fears for the future. Even if that’s walking under a tree! He second-guesses himself. He leans on Winnie to be brave and to take action.

    Owl Pontificates. He gathers much but does not act on it. He waits to see others to share his knowledge, whether he is invited or not.

    Rabbit calculates. Man, I used to totally identify with this workaholic-plan-for-everything bunny. With so much going on in Rabbit’s brain, however, there’s no room to enjoy anything. And he often overthinks things and overcomplicates situations.

    Tigger is like a lightening bolt. He has energy for everything, but he does not take a break to focus it. Or think about his future. Thus, he gets caught in trees and other sticky situations.

    STEP 5: Be honest.

    Journal or talk with a trusted friend about what inner character(s) could be getting in your way. Yes, you can have more than one. Process what character(s) you are resonating with. What thoughts have you had or actions are you taking that are….

    • Eeyore: Isolating you from taking care of yourself, seeing friends/family more often, or avoiding other responsibilities? Common symptoms of this are depression, hopelessness, I-give-up-ness, excessive-hermit-syndrome.
    • Piglet: Preventing you from taking steps forward towards your next goal or dream? A first date? Applying for that job? Common symptoms are worry/anxiety that keeps you from enjoying things you normally like to do (like sleeping or eating, or Pac Man). Or catching yourself saying “I’m afraid that…” or “I worry that…”
    • Owl: Amassing knowledge BUT not putting it into practice or using it to help others? Common symptoms are perfectionism, always trying to teach people things you know they don’t wanna hear, interrupting others to make sure they know the right answer, impostor syndrome.
    • Rabbit: Focusing your energies on the Doing and Planning instead of the Feeling and Enjoying of life? Common symptoms of this are being a woman, burnout, overwhelm, exhaustion, feeling like you have to be doing something or you feel guilty, always preparing for life but feeling like you’re missing it.
    • Tigger: Enjoying many things and pursuits, but not pausing to listen to yourself on what to focus on for the future or what feels right for you? Common symptoms of this are rollercoaster emotions, The No-Purpose-Zone, The Squirrel-Syndrome, and Exhaustion.

    STEP 6: Calling in your Winnie

    Now that you’ve brought the light of awareness to what might be keeping you from living a more joyful and authentic life, here are the next steps to Call in your Winnie based on how you answered the above.

    1. For all characters:
      1. Self-compassion: Make an effort to meet yourself every morning with this question: how can I take care of myself best today? And, NO excuses, follow through on what you need! You matter.
      2. Claim your Freedom: Can you forgive and let go? Can you learn your lesson and then let it go? Can you be grateful for the opportunity and then let it go? If not, write out what is keeping you stuck and write out PROS and CONS of holding onto this (feeling/person/situation). Be sure you add in Personal Freedom into the PROS column.
    2. Eeyore: Make time for play. Be brave and try something out of your comfort zone. Call a friend and hangout. Adopt a mantra like: I am worthy. I am loved.
    3. Piglet: Make a plan. Write down your next important goal. Visualize yourself accomplishing that goal every day. Feel how you will feel when you get there. Find an accountability buddy. Then, take a baby step every day to get there. What is your first step? Adopt a mantra like: I am brave. I can do this.
    4. Owl: Make a list of your knowledge, skills, and gifts. On the next page, write down ways that feel good to you to use those in the world. Then, do something! ALSO, try the Eeyore exercise. Adopt a mantra like: I use my gifts to help others. I am kind.
    5. Rabbit: Build non-doing into your life. Take a walk, smell the hot chocolate, pet your dog. Meditate. Watch clouds. Enjoy being YOU. Practice Boundaries. Let go of the responsibilities that are the shoulds. Keep those that bring you joy. Ask for help. ALSO, try the Eeyore exercise. Adopt a mantra like: I am worthy because I am, or I treat myself as a friend.
    6. Tigger: Build breathing room into your life. Look at your fun and goals and prioritize them. Can you focus on your top few goals and say NO to some others? Adopt a mantra like: I make a difference or I create balance in my life.

    Once you take a few simple steps, you’ll soon be Calling in your Winnie! 🧸😌

    Love and Light Warrior: Laurie Herbers

    Hello beautiful! Here’s a message from truth-teller Laurie Herbers. with love, light and laughter, Heidi Esther

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    Opening to Love

    You are not lost or broken. There is nothing wrong with you. Everyone is on a journey and every journey is beautiful. No matter what circumstances you may be living in right now or lived in previously, you are not defined by them. No one tells you who you are. Everything you need to be successful, everything you need to feel loved and accepted, is already inside of you. You came forth with the knowledge, gifts, and skills you need to have everything you ever dreamed of. It is possible your subconscious holds a world of pain, of remembrance, of things spoken to you that were never meant to be yours. You do not have to carry any of it with you.

    The weight of guilt and shame is heavy and all consuming, but you do not own them. You do not have to accept what was given to you. You can turn the page, start a new chapter, nothing holds you back except you. You can be free from the past, from the memories, from the moments that tore at your heart and scarred your soul. Little by little you can heal. Little by little you can reconnect with the love that you are, for all things come from love, including you. Love is an energy that you have inside of you. it is not necessary to go looking outside of yourself, not necessary for someone to give it to you because it is what lives inside of you.

    If you feel alone, unworthy, unwanted or anything that causes you to feel less than you are only means that you are disconnected from love’s energy. You can reconnect for love is in all things and is everywhere. It is in you at this very moment. Nature is a great place to see love energy in motion. From the birds to the trees, from the flowers to the bees, all is connected within the whole, all is connected within the love. All of nature works within the laws of the universe, doing what it was created to do, filling the world with love energy. The seasons change, the sun rises and sets, the ocean’s waves always reach the shore. Each grain of sand, every atom, vibrating in love’s energy. All tapped into the frequency of love. All tuned in and balanced. You, too, can tune in to love’s frequency.

    Walk in the grass with bare feet and connect with the earth. Place your hands on the trunk of a tree. Imagine and see with your mind the energy that permeates everything, including you. Inhale and feel the love energy fill you up. With every breath revel in the love that fills your lungs filling you from your toes to tip of your head. With every exhale, breathe out what does not serve you. Imagine all the guilt and shame released and replaced with the next breath of love. Do this until you are so full, love permeates from your pores and creates a bubble of love that surrounds and protects you.

    Do this as many times as necessary to keep you in love’s frequency. Use love to heal every soul wound you may have. Find yourself in the love. Find your piece of the whole. The more you understand the whole, the more you understand your piece. The more you understand your piece, the more you understand the whole. You matter. Your piece of the whole is important. Live from the love and watch your entire world change. 

    About Laurie Herbers

    laurie herbers headshot

    Laurie Herbers is an Empowerment & Spiritual Love Coach and Author. Her books are Second Chances: How I Turned Hate into Love and Found My Purpose; and Becoming Abundance: Embracing and Enhancing Your Unique Design.

    In her youth she struggled in abuse and trauma, carrying the pain forth into adulthood. Hating life was her home and daily struggle until the day she decided to change her thoughts and beliefs and pursued love with a fervor that superseded everything else. She is passionate about others never having to go another day feeling worthless, guilt, shame, and judgment. She guides individuals struggling in life or business to gain clarity, become empowered, love all of their pieces, find their purpose, heal their soul wounds, own their own power, and use the power of their mind to manifest all the good things.  

    The SoulJourner Question

    So, whadda ya say? Check out one of her books, trainings, or social media platforms? I’m in her Becoming Abundance Facebook Group: would love to see you there!

    https://www.instagram.com/soullovelegacy

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingabundance

    https://www.tiktok.com/@abundancewithlaurie

    Live with Heidi and Heather Episode 002: Who’s your teacher?

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    What’s up, my beautiful friend? How are you and how are you taking care of your learning spirit today? I am cuddled under two blankets on a couch next to two dogs who know something’s up.

    Yep, there are suitcases, snacks, and pillows next to the front door. My wife and I are heading out for a weekend away. And (sound the trumpets!) I’ve slept in the last two days. I almost feel like my-rested self again. Kinda like I finished finals. Makes me wonder what grades I got. 🧐

    Which reminds me. I grew up with two parents as teachers. I learned the deep value of learning. Somehow, I also developed a belief that, if you weren’t a teacher in a school, then I wasn’t listening. I was closed. Before I was self aware, I even told people they were wrong. 🤦‍♀️ No wonder I ended up on work assignments surrounded by potatoes. 🥔

    Once I opened up to the humble possibility that anything could be a teacher, magic happened. My healing accelerated. Relationships improved. My anxiety got better. I’ve since learned from wise men, friends, sidewalks, my stepdog, and being quiet.

    Like, thanks to what I learned from my sleep deprivation, I know I need support with my son’s soccer stuff. I’m setting up a carpool for his next soccer group. Regular bedtimes, here I come! 👊 🛌

    So, my beautiful friend. Here’s an invitation for you.

    Stay humble, open, and curious. The world can be your teacher. You can learn from the least and most of beings. Even the sky on your dog’s potty break can reveal to you that presence is a precious gift.

    Heidi Esther
    caption for image

    And with that, I give you Episode 002 of Live with Heidi and Heather. We talk about personal development, and why, like teachers, it can make your life.

    Cheshire Cat Exercise

    Sometimes we get so focused on what we’re doing, or how much we got accomplished, we forget to stay open. To all the world is trying to teach us.

    Curiosity. In my upcoming book, it is one of the first mindsets I adopted before I could move forward. In the companion workbook that will come out with my book, I talk about how to cultivate curiosity. And…it usually starts with a question. “Would releasing my money blocks be interesting?” OR “Why am I not happy?” OR “I wonder how it would feel to…”

    When your inner critic arises, thank them for their input and years of service. Tell them they can still ride in the car but they no longer get to drive OR choose the podcast. Tell them that your curious, brave, creative soul is in the driver’s seat.

    Open yourself up to your inner curiosity. Let your voice be heard. Then, follow your curiosity up and down the winding roads. Breath and learn from the road blocks. Why? Because you’ll soon be driving alongside the joyful love of your life: YO.U.

    Live with Heidi and Heather Episode 001: Why do we care?

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    What happens when Diet Coke won’t fix it?

    Hello, my beautiful friend! How is your heart these days? And how are you taking care of your gentle, bright spirit?

    I have a random question for you…would you say you’re a soul-searcher? Like, someone who’s not afraid to look inside, connect with, and dig up (the good and the bad) to find more in your life? More You? More Joy? I came across that word, and then I wrote this about what I’m trying to do here:

    I encourage fellow soul-searchers to greater Joy and Authenticity with relatable true stories, playful printables & mindfulness tools.

    Anyway, that one sentence is the culmination of a book I read, called Building a Story Brand. It’s draft #1. Would love to know how you feel about that sentence. It could be why you and I click, or why you feel I’m coming from outer-space sometimes! Or Both!

    Speaking of outer space… My new show that aired last Wednesday, Live with Heidi and Heather, is somewhere out there. 😂 🪐I don’t know where it went, but it didn’t go where it was planned. So, it’s now in the NEW! Live Heidi and Heather Facebook Group. Or you can listen to it on my pod!

    So, all future live shows will stream to our Live With Heidi and Heather YouTube channel. Next one is October 20th at noon CDT. Don’t Forget, Please go to our YouTube channel and subscribe!

    So, all social media aside, I’m learning lots of lessons these days. I’ve got an interrupting-chicken sleep schedule with some late nights, some early mornings. I’ve been a little “spicy and stressed. Somedays I drink Diet Coke, cry, or nap. Or all three! Yesterday, I journaled. And uncovered my feelings.

    I wrote down what I could control (how I take care of myself / my attitude) and what I couldn’t (my son’s soccer, my wife’s work.) I admitted something I would NEVER have before. Back when I was perfectionistic-codependent stay at home mom. I’m having a hard time. And I need help.

    It felt like I unlocked a door from a dark room and bathed in a warm flood of sunshine. ☀️So, my dear friend, may you know that you are strong and brave. And loved and supported. May you take time to be honest with yourself. So you know what you need. And ask for it. Like a car-pooling buddy, a friend to lean on, or some takeout. 🌮🥡🍕

    Why ask for help? Because Your Joy Matters. Because you deserve the sunshine. Because you are strong and you need help.

    Which brings me to Live with Heidi and Heather Episode 001…

    The SoulJourner QUESTion

    So, being honest with oneself is hard. Harder than you might think. Here’s what I did to uncover my honest truth.

    Gaining Clarity Hurdles Exercise

    You have to overcome some hurdles to get to your truth. When you find yourself saying “I just wish..” or “I should…” or “Why me?” take out your journal or talk these things out with a trusted friend.

    1. Share how you feel. Get it out, soul-searcher! When you’ve felt the peak and ebb of your feelings, ask yourself the following.
    2. What am I in control of?
    3. What am I not in control of?
    4. What am I expecting to happen?
    5. Is what I’m expecting to happen/what happened in my direct control?
      1. If YES: (your thoughts/actions/attitude/putting your phone down) take those steps. Write down a revised positive mantra that you can use to replace the unhelpful “i wish” or “I should” statement.
      2. If NO, ask yourself: What do I need to let go of? What can I ask for help with?
    6. The checker question: After the above steps, write down how you can best take care of yourself, your health, and your happiness, regardless of the outcome. Make sure – whatever you do – is aligned with taking care of yourself and your values.

    SuperStep5 (Getting Stronger) EveryDay Superhero Method EXTRA CREDIT: Do the above exercise, then ask yourself what kinds of lessons the universe might be showing you right now. Then, practice feeling gratitude for those lessons!

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