Welcome to SuperStep 2: Waking Up & Letting Go. The Second of Five SuperSteps in the SoulSanity Everyday Superhero Method! (Here’s the First SuperStep!)

To Publish or not, is that the question?

November 2017 at my kitchen table.

Staring at my computer screen, one hand massages my furrowed brow. The other, moving the mouse over the “Publish” button. That’s when it restarted.

I hear a familiar condescending voice in my head… 

Who are you to tell people how to feel better? You’re not a therapist. You’re not a doctor. You’re not even a certified emotional support animal! People who write for a living do not walk around in slippers with blankies on their laps. 

The voice continues, with more menace. You’re just a fundraiser who writes good thank you notes. And you’re too chicken to step foot in the local poetry group. How about you work for Hallmark? Who do you think you are? 

Let me backup. I’ve been trying to get the courage to post my first blog article for three days now. I wrote and rewrote and researched for a month. Probably on the tenth draft. I’ve lost count.

I stand up from the table and twirl my arms around my body, like empty coat sleeves. Trying to shake out the nerves. I don’t want to walk away too far away, even for tea, because I know I won’t be back.

And, tomorrow, I’ll feel that little niggling in my brain to publish this article. Normal bloggers don’t have these issues, do they? I must be doing something wrong. Maybe I’ll read a couple more books on how to be a writer. My brow relaxes. Yeah, that sounds brilliant.

SuperStep 2: Five Months Later

Same table, same article, revision fifteen.

A crappy copy taken from a self-help book lays next to my computer.  On the top, in my almost indecipherable scribble, the words: No one needs my help. Below it are two columns.

Column One: Disadvantages of Believing this Statement. 

Column Two: Advantages of Believing this Statement.

My task? Fill in the columns.

Disadvantages

• I feel worthless.
• I feel like I can’t help anyone.
• I won’t try new things.
• I will stay stuck in my current life.
• I’m just a mom and that’s all I’ll ever be.
• I won’t learn about writing online.
• I won’t get the confidence I need.

Advantages 

None.

The bottom of the sheet reads: Write your revised statement here.

I am a writer who helps others feel better.

I say these words to myself over and over. The mouse hovers over the magic word, and I click it. Published. Oh no! What have I done? What if there’s a mistake in there? Shit. Shit. Shit.

I jump up from the table, knocking the chair over. Ready to delete the post for good.

Breathe, Heidi. Another voice, a calmer voice, booms out of nowhere and stops me in my tracks.

Instead of my mouse, I grab my pencil. I erase part of my sentence and rewrite it.

I am a writer-in-progress who helps others feel better.

QUOTE

To see the light, we need to notice our eyes are closed. And open them.

Heidi Esther

The SoulJourner QUESTion

It was only through the light of awareness that I was able to Let Go of perfection, negative thoughts, and shame. And publish.

The second SuperStep in the SoulSanity Everyday Superhero Method is to Wake Up and Let Go.  Wake up to ourselves, our awareness. Our thoughts. And our feelings. Let Go of perfect. Let Go of shame and blame. Let Go of what others do and say.

What are the benefits? The second SuperStep opens our eyes and frees us from the jail of our own expectations of how we need to live. The second SuperStep helps us let go of what we need to, so we can make room for SuperStep 3: Letting In. What do we let in? Habits that reinforce and nurture your authentic self, like patience, forgiveness, and kindness.

Before the Everyday Superhero Course and book come out, how can you work on SuperStep 2? Stories tagged with SuperStep 2 highlight a small piece of the Letting Go method. Search for SuperStep 2 on the homepage!

Overview of the Everyday Superhero Method
SuperStep 1 of 5: Three Legs of Support
SuperStep 2 of 5: Waking Up & Letting Go 
SuperStep 3 of 5: Letting In
SuperStep 4 of 5: Moving Forward 
SuperStep 5 of 5: Getting Stronger