Howdy, beautiful soul! How’s it going in your heart today? You meeting each morsel of life, fully-present and absorbed in the miracle that is existence, or are there deeper, darker thoughts afoot?
Deeper thoughts that involve one or more of the following trails:
If I only coulda said this…
If I only woulda done this…
I shoulda known better…
These are some of the strongest leading trails of thought that are big clues. To what? Regret.
Regret is a mighty foe. It not only keeps you unforgiving about what you did/said in the past, it keeps the lens from which you view life darkened, distorted. In yoga, they call this kinda viewpoint on life avidya. Avidya definition: ignorance specifically : blindness to ultimate truth. I know, Regret is a true Joy Block.
So, how can you be at your shiniest, most joyful self, with regret? You can’t. But, here’s what you can do.
Today I’m here to let you know how you can rinse some of your avidya away, so you can embrace and get closer to YOUR ultimate truth, which is Joy and Love.
Let me know what you think!
sending you love, light, and soapy bubbles of healing,
A story… Recently, I woke up and I felt off. About 20 minutes into reorganizing my bathroom closet, I realized that I was in hard-core avoidance mode. As I weeded out the slimified old lotion bottles, I knew it was time.
I sat down and cried. I didn’t judge or question myself.I journaled. THEN, that afternoon, I connected with two friends to process the meltdown.
Hello my dear friend! How are you and how are you taking care of yourself today? Yep, the rumors are true. I took a before-work nap today. Four nights this week, I’ve been in kid-shuffling-around mode at night. And then Elvis, my step-dog, woke me up twice right before wake up time. When my alarm went off, I groaned.
A little voice inside of me said please to go back to sleep. Then another said suck it up, you’ll be fine. A third said, get your stuff done, get the kids out of the house, and lay back down. Boom. I had my answer.
On this Thanksgiving eve, I have a word gift for you. You might associate it with a favorite hymn or your Thanksgiving meal. I assure you, this word is not only for church or holidays. The word is
Grace.
We sing about grace in the Church. We hope we receive it from God when we have fallen. We give grace for bountiful food and company that nourishes our bodies and souls.
Going forward, I challenge you to think of Grace in a new way. To take Grace, wrap it up, and give it back to yourself with passionate abandon. Let it rain on you as a watershed of compassion and love and forgiveness. Give yourself grace for being and living the miracle that is You. No matter how you woke up. No matter what “they” said or did. No matter what. Period.
But I mess up all the time, you might be saying to yourself. What then? You don’t make mistakes. You are not a mistake. You have unexpected, and sometimes uncomfortable, steps along your path. Why? So you learn what you’re meant to. Why? So you can unlock and live your happiness, freedom, and joy.
So, whadda ya say?Try it with me?
And would you like to know the three other steps that help me show up every day, guilt-free, worry-free, in joy, with freedom and love for myself? Listen to Heather and I talk Personal Freedom.
Sending you love, light, grace, and laughter, Heidi Esther
Live with Heidi and Heather: Episode 4
Watch Episode 4: Four Steps to Your Personal Freedom
My ears wake to a familiar seagull-like whine. I try not to move in bed, as if my complete stillness can make it go away. Nonetheless, the whine continues.
My step-dog Elvis and his strict wake-up time is the cause of much grief in my world. Say there was a thunderstorm for three hours overnight that felt like God was shining a faulty fluorescent light. And, say Elvis was awake in our bedroom for all those hours. He will still wake up at the same time.
Jason and his wife came over for football. New friends, who live next door, love wine, AND can talk football with my wife? A PANDEMIC MIRACLE. So, we went all out….
I cozied into my found-on-the-curb-and-it’s-perfectly-fine-with-two-pillows-see? desk chair. ⅓ caff coffee on the candle warmer. Fairy lights twinkling in my Apple Knockers cider jug. My favorite daytime sweatpants, warm out of the dryer. It’s gonna be a great day.
Stacey: And you need time to see how amazing you are and love yourself, too.
God, thank you for putting Stacey in my life.
A crappy grey day in February, 8 years ago
Sitting at my dining room table, staring at my quiet phone.
The floor and trim, ebony. Walls, an impersonal white. One side, an equally ebony oversized Goodwill china cabinet, filled with my everyday dishes, glasses. My small kitchen sucks. The other wall, covered in preschool artwork. The table itself, awash with crayons, paper, glue. They went to Dad’s house in the middle of craft time. I’ll pick that up later, I said two days ago. An ass-cold day, throwing sleet on the window. The useless overhead light casting a smoke-stained glow.
