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4 Steps on How to find a career when nothing interests you

Have these words ever graced your big, beautiful brain?  God I don’t know what I want to do with my life? or So, how to find a career when nothing interests you? You, brave, generous soul, are in the right place to find an answer. Heidi Esther is a career coach for women and a certified emotional intelligence life coach with your next 4 moves.

A Story

working woman and mother going mad while sitting with children, wondering is this it and how to find a career when nothing interests you

I sat there, on the floor of Meijer grocery store. You know, that aisle that has all the fish tanks at the back? 

My large, full shopping cart off to one side, a pink bundle of sleepy, slow-drinking baby in my lap. Next to me, my toddler shoveling handfuls of Cheerios into his mouth, staring at the fish. Cheerios spilling everywhere.

I closed my eyes and heard the ice cream dripping from the bottom of the shopping cart. 

But I wasn’t sad or mad. This was my life!  I prevented another complete meltdown. And that’s the exact moment when a familiar thought punched through my mile-long to-do and to-clean and to-care for lists…

Is this it?

I stared at the fish tanks. All those fish, swimming around and around the little castles and fake plants. I wondered if they ever had that question.  

read more of this fishy story, beautiful!
Featured

5 Caring Mindset Tips when life gives you lemons + 2 Best Mindset Books

dreamy woman with cat resting on sofa at home

When life gives you lemons, how can you develop a positive, caring mindset to process and move forward with more knowledge and confidence? Here’s your answer.

TL:DR Go straight to 5 Positive, Caring Mindset Tips or 2 Best Mindset Book Recommendations

Don’t gloss over your hardship. Greet it like a dear friend, who is ready to help you clear the way for more of your brilliance. For in the clearing, new buds will emerge to provide you new light, breath, and growth. Yes, Phoenix, you will rise again.

Heidi Esther, when life gives you lemons
read on for story and tips!
Featured

hi, beautiful! How to confidently deal with Life’s Transitions

A story, a hug, and a storytelling invite generous and hardworking helpers can use to confidently navigate life’s transitions.

Don’t want to read the story? Skip to Your HUG and a Storytelling Prompt!

Does any of this sound familiar?
dawn man love people

“I just feel like a part of me no longer fits with my life.”

“I’m grieving…everything (climate change, my kid graduating kindergarten, divorce, loss of a friend, the body I once had…)”

“I’m exhausted and can’t keep up with everything and everyone. Where will I find the time?”

“Is this it?” – a small voice inside of you

If so, you might be in – or close to – a time of change in your life. Take heart, beautiful, generous soul, you can learn to navigate them with grace and ease. Here’s an example of life’s transitions on my side of the fence

during times of transition, you can still flourish.

Why The Pivot and The Reframe don’t work alone & One Emotional Intelligence Coaching Tool to give you the power to make decisions (confidently!)

Keywords: Anxious mom, Emotional Intelligence Coaching, second guess myself, power to make decisions. Are you ready to know and grow yourself better through emotional wellbeing? Let’s lean in 🙂

second guessing myself, Anxious Moms, Power to Make Decisions, Emotional Intelligence Coaching

Why am I second guessing myself? Does that sound familiar? Today I’ll share a story around one Simple Tool for Anxious Moms and Overwhelmed Professionals Who Want the Power to Make Decisions with Confidence, powered by Emotional Intelligence Coaching.

Whether you’re an exhausted professional or anxious mom who feels pulled in ten directions — from project deadlines to family needs — it’s no wonder that decision-making can feel impossible sometimes. 

You might replay conversations, worry about disappointing people, or second guess yourself even after you’ve made a choice.

The truth is, the more stress you’re under, the more your emotional brain takes the driver’s seat — which means both logic and intuition get drowned out.

That’s where emotional intelligence coaching and one simple, overlooked strategy (below) can be a game changer. They help you slow down and build the clarity to make decisions that are aligned with you — not just your stress.

ready for some quick clarity? Read on, fearless soul!

7 joyfully quick Tips to Celebrate you and Practice a Care Plan for Self Care Deficit

Keywords: exhausted mom quotes, mom burnout quotes, self care is self love, self care and self love, self care vs self love, care plan for self care deficit

Sometimes, I feel like butter scraped over too much bread.

When I pause and feel there’s not enough of me to go around, It’s time. Time to practice a care plan for self care deficit.

Does a self care plan sound like commitment or too much work? Then read this!

  • FAST: Each item takes less than 5 minutes. And can be done waiting to pick up your kid, in the shower, drinking coffee.
  • EASY: Give yourself permission to Practice your care plan. This gives you the flexibility to change it, try it, love it, or leave it.
  • CHALLENGE: I challenge you to find one thing on the bottom handout that you can do to start practicing self care over the next four weeks.

Self Care and Self Love

Think self care is selfish? Then these tips will remind you that it isn’t. It’s necessary to not be running around on the brink of burnout all the time. They are designed to bring you a snippet of joy and peace to your heart – anytime.

BONUS! They are designed to help you remember who you are. And who is that? Who is someone who is just as worthy and beautiful as all those you help and care for.

You are worthy of Joy.

You are worthy of Peace.

I invite you to ask yourself this question after each tip: is this some thing I can easily incorporate into my overfilled day? If so, then I invite you to try it!

Are Self Care and Self Love made up?

I used to think self care and self love were bullshit. Made up by “some people” who weren’t logical in nature. Read: math and science brains. Note: I have an engineering degree.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. Self care and self love are the inner practice of what we first learn to do on the outside – for others. But a lot of us learned to receive and give love conditionally. For example…

“I’ll be happy when…”

“If you loved me, you’d…”

I learned to earn praise and recognition by cleaning the house, losing weight, and getting perfect grades. Note: I am a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser. By learning to give and receive love conditionally, we learn the same thing for ourselves.

With conditional love, we become our own worst enemy. And then believe self care and self love are bullshit.

Self Care vs Self Love

Next, you might ask yourself. What’s the difference between self care and self love anyway? Are they at odds? Can you have one without the other?

Can you have light without the sun? Nope.

Self Care is the fuel of Self Love. By practicing self care – however small – you are practicing self love. This is because of something so small we take for granted.

What is the thing you most need to invest in abundance to fall in love with someone?

Time.

You are worthy of your own time.

Giving yourself time to get to know, befriend, care for, play with, and find joy with yourself starts with self care and ends with becoming the love of your life. – Heidi Esther, Joyologist

The Truth: Self Care is Self Love

Truth: You’ll never feel self love if you are listening to your inner critic. If you listen to your critic, you will only be happy “when” you or others are and do what you expect them to. Read: You’ll only love yourself sometimes.

Spoiler alert: WE HUMANS are HORRIBLE predictors of the future.*

Is it time to eradicate the if and when and learn to accept our messy, broken, healing, weird brilliant selves right now. Because why?

You, my dear, are already perfect in your own way. Resilient in your own wholeness.

Just like a tree that might have been splintered in half still stands, blooms, seeds, and spreads her branches to the light, you are brilliantly beautiful and whole in your own way.

It’s time for you to see your light.

When we ignore out needs for others, we give permission for others to ignore themselves. When we learn to love ourselves unconditionally, we give permission for everyone else to do the same.

TL;DR You are worth your own time. Today, and every day.

7 joyfully quick Tips to Create a Care Plan for Self Care Deficit

Want a HIGH RES PDF of this? Scroll Below the image.

IN LINKED IN VAULT FOLDER: Stress + Mindfulness

Heidi Esther’s Linked In EQ Vault

Cut to the chase: Subscribe for instant access to Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Resources so you and your organization can become more productive, engaged, and successful.

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    Built with Kit

    Who am I?

    Hello beautiful! Lovely to meet you!

    working mom, life coach champaign, joy coach, authentic leadership, career coach for women, keynote speaker central illinois

    I’m Heidi Esther, Joyologist and Certified Emotional Intelligence Life Coach and Consultant.

    I help mission driven professionals increase bandwidth, decrease stress, and leverage their unique genius to create bigger impact in their lives.

    Are you ready for more self care and self love, more joy, and less stress?

    Let’s chat.

    TL:DR Self Care is Self Love. Self Care Creates Self Love

    And you are worthy of Love.

    3 Keys to Live with no Regrets for today’s Resilient Woman

    despaired woman touching head in room

    Are your kids are growing up too fast? Wish things had turned out differently? Looking for positive mindset hacks to Live with No regrets without bypassing the work? Here is your answer, Resilient woman!

    TL;DR You, brilliant soul, are worthy of loving yourself free of regrets. – Heidi Esther

    “Hey mom, I’ll be your Tik Tok manager. I can do that.” my son suggested in between shovels of dinner.

    My heart soared. I envisioned him stopping by on weekends from college. Helping me navigate the new platform with ease. Each of us laughing and weaving our bond stronger.

    In my heart, I knew he needed his time. I could feel a catch in my throat.

    “How about we see how your first year goes, then maybe I can pay you next summer?” I asked and winked.

    Later that night, I sat down and reflected. I knew exactly where that catch came from. Regret. Honestly, I live with almost no regrets, as crazy as that sounds. Not from Unemployment. Not from Divorce.

    Regret pops in from time to time from the most unlikely place: When I was home with my kids.

    Why? I wasn’t present; I was too busy trying to be perfect. I took all the pictures and was never in them. I don’t remember the smell of my babies or watching them in wonder and awe.

    I went through this process to make peace with that me; that time. To reinforce my resilient woman.

    3 keys To Live with no Regret?

    woman wearing gray notch lapel suit jacket

    1) Compassionate Copilot. First, send love, grace, and forgiveness to yourself. As if you were your best friend. What will the committee in your head get you? Just more headaches.

    2) Lucky Penny. Sometimes we regret things that happened. Whether or not they were in our control, our job in life is to accept. Not accepting keeps our energy locked up and us not living our best lives. What was one lesson you learned and one thing you can be grateful for?

    3) Try your best? Can you honestly say you tried your best with what you knew and who you were? If not, can you make a promise to yourself for next time? Realizing you tried your best reduces your shame and regret.

    By engaging our compassion, gratitude, and making a promise to our future selves, we carve a heart-centered way to process, accept, and step forward as more resilient women. In the end, we lessen the shame and regret and tune into more present moment goodness and joy.

    YES! The Joy that you deserve!

    Your HUG

    women hugging each other

    My dear, You are so Loved and Supported. You are here for a reason. You are made to be a unique, Brilliant Leader who lives in Joy.

    It’s time to rewrite your story and Free your inner, Confident self.

    In honor of all you are, I send you this Hug. Hug yourself or look at yourself in the mirror and say…

    I am grateful for who I was and who I am.

    Here’s another read about maintaining a Positive, Caring Mindset you might be interested in, resilient woman!

    3 Unconventional Presents for Working Moms

    Get ready for some affirmations and unconventional presents for working moms of any cloth. You’ll be surprised – they work for pretty much ANYONE. And you can’t buy them in a store…

    A Story

    As we went around the discussion circle, it became apparent. Being a working mom in the summer is its own dilemma. Each woman was asked to answer this question:

    What would Success look like for you this summer?

    “I love spending time with my kids, but…”

    “How can I keep up the momentum and stay present for my kids?”

    “I am not taking on any new clients.”

    “…I know I’ll never get this time back.”

    “Because I’m not the primary breadwinner…”

    I could see the hope and despair in every woman’s eyes. The joy and exhaustion. The guilt and the longing.

    In the midwest, summer can be glorious. And it can be full of competing priorities and values. Enough to flatten any strong hard working mom and send her pleading for Sleigh Bells and Stuffed Schedules.

    My turn was coming up; my head was spinning. What to say?

    My logical brain started: My kids are self-sufficient. Well, in most ways. But, to be honest, my son is leaving for college soon. (insert sadness) Homelife has been (insert: stressful.) And I’m still trying to figure out what a solid foundation for my business is. (insert worry)

    Though the kids are picking their own blended schedules over the summer for the first time, I felt only one answer scream at me.

    what are the gifts???!?

    Are You the Hero, Damsel, or Evil Stepmother?

    How are you, beautiful? My wish for you today is to welcome in the darkness with stillness and curiosity, while also holding space for hope and light. As my dear friend and astrologer says (I’m paraphrasing) “may you welcome in the yin and yang, the duality of life.” The duality of the knowledge in the dying and rebirth of the light within you. After all, it’s only after we let things go that we can let in the new. Speaking of letting go and letting in, I feel called to share a little story with you.

    Are you the Hero, The Damsel, or The Evil Stepmother?

    When my kids were little, I was a bit of an exhausted perfectionistic doormat-y mommy. Who tried to do it all. Who tried to create a life for my kids where they learned, thrived, and were properly bathed and socialized… I called my mom everyday, to learn things from how to mash potatoes and even plant something in the ground.

    But, as if all that wasn’t enough…

    Something always followed me around, from the time I was a teen through the next two decades of my life. A sinking pit in my stomach. Every time there was a movement, I would jump. Every time I got in the car and looked in my rearview mirror. Every time I was on the sidewalk and someone walked towards me, that sinking sensation in my stomach would happen, and I would move to the side and apologize for my double-wide (stroller.)

    YEA, it’s like I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting to be “found out”. I was at-the-ready to apologize for whatever came up, whatever I did, just to make sure everyone had the best experience. It’s like I was constantly feeling that I was doing something wrong. In reality, I was overhelping and people pleasing to exhaustion.

    But I thought, all this time: I am a Helper, after all! That’s my superpower. I’m the best Robin that Batman ever saw!

    So, what was the problem?

    When my life fell apart in all its kaleidoscope of colors, being the helper and the sidekick didn’t work. I had to work on myself and my mess.

    And that’s when it happened.

    I realized I was not meant to live my life as Robin.

    HONEST EDIT > (I did try living my life as a damsel in distress and also as my own evil stepmother, those didn’t work either, fyi)

    After a fractal journey of learning through pain points, ( < welcome to the hero’s fractal journey and my logo) I realized that…

    To live authentically,

    while having the most joy, and

    no longer “waiting for the other shoe to drop”…

    I had to let go of living in the shadow and embrace standing in my own Heroic light.

    I had to embrace being someone who doesn’t get pits in their stomach. Who doesn’t apologize for taking up space.

    So, I had to ask myself this question all the time. And now I’m asking it of you (in each little situation you get into…) Are You the Hero, the Damsel, or the Evil Stepmother?

    AND, if you notice you’re NOT the hero, here’s your #JoyChallenge!

    Hero Step >> Believe You are Equally Worthy

    I had to believe that I am just as worthy as everyone else of living life as The Hero. Having this belief was the first step to claiming my Heroic Joy.

    Now, I walk alongside women through the process of believing and owning their worth. Of feeling they are just as divine and as much as a gift to our world as Mother Theresa.

    How do I do this? I hold space to reflect your unique brilliance. I walk you through Three Frameworks: Emotional Intelligence, Self-Leadership, and Co-active Coaching for fulfillment and balance. I provide the questions. Because I know, beautiful {{ subscriber.first_name }}, you have the answers inside.

    So, are you ready to Embrace your Hero?

    Here are two steps you can do any day, beautiful 💃 💃

    1. Share how you are Embracing your own Inner Hero in the My Joyfully Ever After Facebook group!
    2. ​Chat with me ​about your journey and see if support is what you need to unleash your inner Hero (FYI I have only 2 OPENINGS left in January)

    💝 💝 💝 What a better present to give YOU and YOUR LIFE than one of empowered Joy, amIright? 💝 💝 💝

    sending you love, light, and worthiness to light a thousand galaxies,

    heidi esther

    *What does this phrase mean, anyway? According to grammarist.com… The phrase wait for the other shoe to drop became popular at the turn of the twentieth century, and originated in New York tenements. Tenements were usually poorly constructed, crowded apartment buildings. A resident could certainly hear his upstairs neighbor dropping his shoes on the floor as he took them off at night–first one, then the other.

    PS Let us know how you embrace the Hero! Pop over to ​my Joyfully Ever After Facebook Group​!

    PPS Are you ready to stop waiting to be the Hero of your life? ​Book a Joy Discovery chat here​.

    HONESTLY, it’s pretty much impossible to live a life that brings you Joy if you are always treating yourself not as equally brilliant as everyone else. So, if you want more joy, then give yourself permission to be the Hero of your day! And, if that’s too hard, try being the hero of your morning, first. Rooting for you 💕 💕

    Never Grateful

    Does the prospect of practicing gratitude annoy you? Gratitude used to bother the crap outta me, to be honest. A voice in my head was like “so what? it’s not like gratitude puts the food on the table, drives the kids around, or helps me deal with my ex.” Right?

    ahhhhh, therein lies the secret sauce of gratitude.

    ahhh! read on for the sauce!
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