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(Why Joyfully Ever After is a continuation of this story.) In a dark and cozy bedroom May 14, 2020: I wake up for the day. Feels off. What time is … Continue reading “Why Joyfully Ever After? And why now?”
(Why Joyfully Ever After is a continuation of this story.)
May 14, 2020: I wake up for the day. Feels off. What time is it? 4:23 am. How am I awake right now? That’s weird.
I fell back to sleep.
May 15, 2020: I feel great today! Wait. It’s still dark. 4:37 am. Hmmm.
Rolled over. Fell asleep.
Is this gonna be like groundhog day? maybe. but shorter and at night (spooky) :OElvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog , Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps, Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning
I paced in my bedroom. No other people were home. Just Elvis.
What should I do about him? What can I do? What am I going to do? It’s getting louder. I can’t handle it.
The pacing. The whining. The vomiting. The pooping outside his appointed area.
It’s been 5 days since his dog mom (my fiancee) – left. Elvis, her Italian Greyhound, is miserable. Therefore, I am miserable.
Yes, This could be the end for Heidi and elvis. but wait…Hello,
this is God.
I’ll be handling all of your problems today.
Have a miraculous day.
Heidi Esther’s negative-ninny mind has got her cornered again. How is she supposed to live when she feels like – she’s – a mistake? She finds an answer under the kitchen table…
I blew my nose in the last kleenex. I sat in a dark corner of my bedroom, my arms hugging my knees. Across from me: a wall of windows. The day was bright. My view was shaded, showing a lush, leafy vista. I pulled my hoodie strings tighter around my head.
Why was Heidi so sad? It looks like such a nice day outside! Read on to find out…Engagement Series 1/3: How Can I Love You? Engagement Series 2/3: The Return of the Ring Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing, with love
Me: I mean, yes. I’ll marry you. Someday. I love you. Truly, madly, deeply. You know.
Stacey (sheepishly): Yea, baby. I know.
Me: Can I see the ring?
will heidi put the ring on and (gasp!) become the ACCOMMODATING wife again? read on!I knew I already lost the battle.
Jonathan (apathetically, on the phone): I know, Mom.
Really? Does he know that his “streak” of 11, 13, and 14-hour days of screen time is making him dumber? And the other days at his Dad’s were equally impressive or horrifying (depending on how you look at it): 8, 9, and 12 hours.
Seriously, what does he do all that wetime online? and how can his mom even compete? Read ON!Engagement Series 1/3: How Can I Love You? Engagement Series 2/3: The Return of the Ring Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing
Stacey walked down my narrow, dark, second-floor hallway. She has this rock-star swagger about her walk. When we walk, her Air Force service gives her the intuitive tools to lock-step together, which I find romantic. She held my morning coffee in her hand, which, of course, fully endeared her to me. Then, something unexpected happened.
She didn’t hand over the coffee and got down on one knee.
will heidi ever get her morning coffee? Read on!Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog . Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps. Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning
Me: Doesn’t it ever bother you that Elvis is always following you around?
Stacey: No, I think it’s kinda cute.
Me: But, don’t you ever want a break from him?
Stacey: Why would I ever need a break from this handsome man?
I stared over to a long nose attached to a tiny black head. Brown-black eyes stared back at me intensely. I couldn’t see any other part of Elvis; he was hidden behind Stacey’s knee.
why is Heidi so sassy about ELVIS? What’s the deal? Read on!I stood with sinking legs, at the threshold of my ex’s new house. Inside was silent and cave-dark against the light from the doorway. His large figure, daunting, challenging, between me and the sun.
I wanted a hoodie. I needed a bathroom. I desperately wanted to compliment him. My kids, 6 and 7, were still inside, looking for guidance. My tongue was stuck; lead feet ensued.
Geeeeeze, people, stop getting ahead of yourselves! This is not a story about violence. But when my ex gets angry, it’s like his eyes sink into his head and turn all black – like the black-oil people who get infected with the alien virus in X-Files. Get what I’m sayin?
Pre-divorce, my immediate response to his anger was either:
What do you do when you’re scared? read on and respond at the end!It was quiet as a library. The room was spacious with a low ceiling. It was all wood- smelling. More like a forest than a yoga studio – except for one window wall. It ushered in the only light. The light of dusk on a heavy, cloudy day that was never awake enough to wash the sleep out of its eyes.
I live so many of those days with my toddlers, in velour tracksuits with an unbrushed ponytail. If I hadn’t had 2 cups of coffee after dinner, it would also be lights-out for me.
Did Heidi fall asleep or break out the dumbbells in yoga class? continue reading!How did I get to a life where I’m THRIVING?
(SKIP TO THE PART where YOU can learn how to THRIVE!)
Well, there are treks through Swamps of Sadness, rides on uni-llama-corns, brave journeys into dark thorny brambles of the soul, and unexpected blessings of drunken poetry. There is no Prince Charming. There are ugly bathroom-stall cries, and times “I cried so hard, tears ran down my leg.” There are shame, isolation, migraines, hundreds of chocolate chip cookies, friends, angels, demons, bad haircuts, the miracle of life, and the miracle of a soul, finally, heard.
33 Years. That’s how long it took before I woke up. At that point, I had an oversized suburban house and a toddler for each leg. I had it all, and, yet, every day I woke up and felt old and crumpled, like at least 50. (which seemed old at the time, but, really, 50 is the new 40…)
what does this have to do with you? read on!
