Codependence | Heidi Esther, Joyologist

The Great Cup Experiment of 2019

I have to get on his email list. This dude is legit. Oh no, what is Heidi Esther in for this time?

Tribe Conference Day 3: Sunday.

If you want to know where I am, read this story first.

First speaker: Joseph Michael

Holy crap! This man is a miracle. With three kids at home and his mortgage past due, what does he do? He records tutorials for Scrivener in his car on lunch breaks. In no time, he makes so much that he quits his day job & lives happily ever after. Now he is a motivational speaker.

I have to get on his email list. This dude is legit.

what does this joseph guy have to do with heidi Esther?? He’s not even a writer!

Just who do you think you are?

Written in honor of International Women’s Day 2021 #IWD2021 #ChooseToChallenge

Hey amazing soul! You can CLICK HERE to see me read it on Facebook!

I am recovering woman.
  Watching the boys
    following His dreams.
"Wanna hear another dumb blonde joke?" 

I am recovering woman.
   Waiting for husband
     to come home from work
"I cannot live without you."

you bet this is a totally righteous poem! Read on, worthy soul!

Trapped with love: Our Corona Waiting Game

Covid Series 2 of 2. First story here!

Stacey and I get home from Covid testing.

Living room. Family meeting.

oh no! who’s in trouble now? Read more!

Attack of the Teenage Quarantine

Jason and his wife came over for football. New friends, who live next door, love wine, AND can talk football with my wife? A PANDEMIC MIRACLE. So, we went all out….

(Covid Series 1 of 2. Second Story is HERE)

The Wednesday that wasn’t

I cozied into my found-on-the-curb-and-it’s-perfectly-fine-with-two-pillows-see? desk chair. ⅓ caff coffee on the candle warmer. Fairy lights twinkling in my Apple Knockers cider jug. My favorite daytime sweatpants, warm out of the dryer. It’s gonna be a great day.

that sounds lovely! I wonder what happens next? Read on!

What happened to my new life: The grey days

Placing her hand on my heart.

Stacey: And you need time to see how amazing you are and love yourself, too.

God, thank you for putting Stacey in my life.

A crappy grey day in February, 8 years ago

Sitting at my dining room table, staring at my quiet phone.

The floor and trim, ebony. Walls, an impersonal white. One side, an equally ebony oversized Goodwill china cabinet, filled with my everyday dishes, glasses. My small kitchen sucks. The other wall, covered in preschool artwork. The table itself, awash with crayons, paper, glue. They went to Dad’s house in the middle of craft time. I’ll pick that up later, I said two days ago. An ass-cold day, throwing sleet on the window. The useless overhead light casting a smoke-stained glow.

Nobody likes you.

Say it ain’t so! How could that be? what’s going on with her?

Damned, I mean, Thank You + Free Gift!

A gratitude story-poem. PLUS! A resilience-building gift for YOU. For all seasons!

I woke up, 
  mornings. 
My sky, 
  blinding aura. 
My head as 
  icepicks hammering. 
Sweat,
frozen feet
as a limp doll
on the bathroom floor, 
penance for 
  obeying the
  God of 
   Endless
    Doing.
Insides,
 blindly following.
What have I done? 
I've given myself
 a chance
 at perfect. 
For that 
 painful respite, 
 I am grateful.

Is this like when people make lemonade from lemons? Yes, and lemonade from sugar, too. BOOM! Read on!

Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing, with love

Honestly, I just thought play meant sanitizing and rotating the kids’ toys. And you don’t care that I shave my toe knuckles or …

Engagement Series 1/3: How Can I Love You? Engagement Series 2/3: The Return of the Ring Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing, with love

6 Months after Proposal, duffle bag on the floor

Me: I’m sorry. You know I love you, right?

Stacey (wiping tears): It doesn’t feel like it.

Allllright, what did Heidi do now? And what does that have to do with sponge baths? read on!

Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

What does a dog know about codependence? Apparently, a whole lot.

Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog , Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps, Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

You CAN teach an old dog new tricks!

I was witnessing a miracle! Every step was a God-send.

Here’s how it went down:

Walking a bag of dirt is what it’s like walking elvis. Normally. Behold the miracle & read on!

Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps

Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog , Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps, Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

In My Bedroom

I paced in my bedroom. No other people were home. Just Elvis.

What should I do about him? What can I do? What am I going to do? It’s getting louder. I can’t handle it.

The pacing. The whining. The vomiting. The pooping outside his appointed area.

It’s been 5 days since his dog mom (my fiancee) – left. Elvis, her Italian Greyhound, is miserable. Therefore, I am miserable.

Yes, This could be the end for Heidi and elvis. but wait…

God hides under the kitchen table for 35 years?

Hello,
this is God.
I’ll be handling all of your problems today.
Have a miraculous day.

Heidi Esther’s negative-ninny mind has got her cornered again. How is she supposed to live when she feels like – she’s – a mistake? She finds an answer under the kitchen table…

8 years ago in a treehouse

I blew my nose in the last kleenex. I sat in a dark corner of my bedroom, my arms hugging my knees. Across from me: a wall of windows. The day was bright. My view was shaded, showing a lush, leafy vista. I pulled my hoodie strings tighter around my head.

Why was Heidi so sad? It looks like such a nice day outside! Read on to find out…