codependent | Heidi Esther, Joyologist

Today’s Lesson from the Bullies

I shake my head. Over the next ten minutes, I fill the void of the house with swear words of technological frustration and install the software to see the files. I take a sip from my second cup of coffee, and click on the resume doc, hoping it will load.

Unlikely Discrimination Series 2 of 2. Read the first story here!

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The Next Lesson from the Bullies

The next weekend, I’m sitting at my crowded dining room table. Two stacks of papers, books, and an unopened laptop in front of me, connected to an external drive. Dark-wooded windows, heavy-lidded from the rainy early-Spring weekend afternoon. A tall dark buffet, inches behind my seat, taking up more air. A yellow-checkered Goodwill lamp across the room does nothing to combat the gloom.

I open up the laptop and take a deep breath. I have to leave my job. My hands clench in frustration. I can’t handle my boss anymore, ignoring me and not talking to me. I notice a clenched jaw to go along with the fists, and stretch them both out wide, ready to stretch open to a new job.

You ever have a job search to escape your current environment? i hear ya!

The Great Cup Experiment of 2019

I have to get on his email list. This dude is legit. Oh no, what is Heidi Esther in for this time?

Tribe Conference Day 3: Sunday.

If you want to know where I am, read this story first.

First speaker: Joseph Michael

Holy crap! This man is a miracle. With three kids at home and his mortgage past due, what does he do? He records tutorials for Scrivener in his car on lunch breaks. In no time, he makes so much that he quits his day job & lives happily ever after. Now he is a motivational speaker.

I have to get on his email list. This dude is legit.

what does this joseph guy have to do with heidi Esther?? He’s not even a writer!

Damned, I mean, Thank You + Free Gift!

A gratitude story-poem. PLUS! A resilience-building gift for YOU. For all seasons!

I woke up, 
  mornings. 
My sky, 
  blinding aura. 
My head as 
  icepicks hammering. 
Sweat,
frozen feet
as a limp doll
on the bathroom floor, 
penance for 
  obeying the
  God of 
   Endless
    Doing.
Insides,
 blindly following.
What have I done? 
I've given myself
 a chance
 at perfect. 
For that 
 painful respite, 
 I am grateful.

Is this like when people make lemonade from lemons? Yes, and lemonade from sugar, too. BOOM! Read on!

Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing, with love

Honestly, I just thought play meant sanitizing and rotating the kids’ toys. And you don’t care that I shave my toe knuckles or …

Engagement Series 1/3: How Can I Love You? Engagement Series 2/3: The Return of the Ring Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing, with love

6 Months after Proposal, duffle bag on the floor

Me: I’m sorry. You know I love you, right?

Stacey (wiping tears): It doesn’t feel like it.

Allllright, what did Heidi do now? And what does that have to do with sponge baths? read on!

Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

What does a dog know about codependence? Apparently, a whole lot.

Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog , Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps, Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

You CAN teach an old dog new tricks!

I was witnessing a miracle! Every step was a God-send.

Here’s how it went down:

Walking a bag of dirt is what it’s like walking elvis. Normally. Behold the miracle & read on!

Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps

Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog , Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps, Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

In My Bedroom

I paced in my bedroom. No other people were home. Just Elvis.

What should I do about him? What can I do? What am I going to do? It’s getting louder. I can’t handle it.

The pacing. The whining. The vomiting. The pooping outside his appointed area.

It’s been 5 days since his dog mom (my fiancee) – left. Elvis, her Italian Greyhound, is miserable. Therefore, I am miserable.

Yes, This could be the end for Heidi and elvis. but wait…

Engagement Series 2/3: The Return of the Ring

Engagement Series 1/3: How Can I Love You? Engagement Series 2/3: The Return of the Ring Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing, with love

**If you like it, do you have to put a ring on it?**

Me: I mean, yes. I’ll marry you. Someday. I love you. Truly, madly, deeply. You know.

Stacey (sheepishly): Yea, baby. I know.

Me: Can I see the ring?

will heidi put the ring on and (gasp!) become the ACCOMMODATING wife again? read on!

Engagement Series 1/3: How can I love you?

Engagement Series 1/3: How Can I Love You? Engagement Series 2/3: The Return of the Ring Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing

Coffee with a caveat

Stacey walked down my narrow, dark, second-floor hallway. She has this rock-star swagger about her walk. When we walk, her Air Force service gives her the intuitive tools to lock-step together, which I find romantic. She held my morning coffee in her hand, which, of course, fully endeared her to me. Then, something unexpected happened.

She didn’t hand over the coffee and got down on one knee.

will heidi ever get her morning coffee? Read on!

Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I Hate about Her Dog

Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog . Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps. Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

7 years ago: Meet the Satellite

Me: Doesn’t it ever bother you that Elvis is always following you around?

Stacey: No, I think it’s kinda cute.

Me: But, don’t you ever want a break from him?

Stacey: Why would I ever need a break from this handsome man?

I stared over to a long nose attached to a tiny black head. Brown-black eyes stared back at me intensely. I couldn’t see any other part of Elvis; he was hidden behind Stacey’s knee.

why is Heidi so sassy about ELVIS? What’s the deal? Read on!