Staring at the horizon above the meadow at a tree-lined subdivison, my anger smokes out my fingertips. My body is in a yoga pose, called Warrior Two. Which always looks to me like an archer stance, ready for battle.
oooh! This sounds tough. Let’s go.Tag: Heidi Esther
The Master Key that opens the door to…
The Master Key is a Deleted scene from the start of my book. For Cryin’ Out Loud.
well, now i’m intrigued! read on >>>Living Guilt Free
I sat there, yesterday, on my bed. My hot laptop staring right at me. My legs aching from laying flat; my middle-aged back screaming “you know, you have a desk for work now!”
But my stomach and head weren’t listening, despite the nagging. It had been three hours since my last break. All was well. All my tabs closed, well, except….
Except my personal email tab. The purple outline of my google chrome browser was still open at top of my screen, haunting me.
(Poem) You are Lovable, Loving, and Loved
I wrote Lovable, Loving, and Loved for you. For all the beautiful, hard-working, helping, brilliant Yous within. For all the sometimes messy, anxious, infuriated, depressed, over-worked, tired Yous within. May you take time every day to rejoice and replenish the timeless, worthy soul who is you.
click here to read the poemWhat to do with your anger. Ice Skate?
Hello, virtual neighbor! What’s happening your way these days? How are you taking care of your big, beautiful heart? The past five days, I’ve been home with my family because of a snow storm. So, you guessed it, I had to break out the doorknockers.
oh no…i bet this isn’t good…Do you like to watch?
Hello, my dear! How are you, and how’s it going this week? We are bracing for a winter storm of sorts, so I made some peach sourdough bread and unearthed the snowblower. How’s the weather your way? Would love to know how you are taking care of yourself.
Just a sweet reminder that I’m thinking of you and I am also embracing my own one-of-a-kindness. And I am understanding my energetic limits and how I need to take care of myself.
The Result? I hope you like to watch because I am sharing my messages via Facebook and Youtube every week. (I’m saving my writing for launching For Cryin’ Out Loud, writing the next book, and help with Peeling Your Onion, in case you were wondering!)
Long story short, you can find all you need on my site!
- Go to This page for the most recent YouTube Episode or
- Come here for the most recent POD
- Check out the Facebook & Apple Podcast links, so you can join or subscribe there if you want!
Oh! Before I forget, I have a couple conversations coming up with some very interesting folks, plus a live storytelling (TODAY ON Facebook/Youtube), and Live with Heidi and Heather is coming back on February 16.
Sending you love, light, and laughter,
Heidi Esther
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but…
Hello my joyful, beautiful friend! How are you? And how are you taking care of yourself this season? I’m so CURIOUS to know…
Because, my beautiful friend, there are so many fruitful things that come out of a habit of curiosity. Being open to new ideas. Putting on your courageous panties and walking forward. Or taking care of your needs in new ways. Allowing all the parts of you to be. (Even those you are, like, “why me, God?”)
So, my dear, my wish for you. May you embrace curiosity as a way to shine the light on all parts of your beautiful, evolving, messy, limitless, sometimes-troubled, sometimes-doubting, soul. And may you allow all your gifts to have a home in your heart. No. Matter. What.
And if you would like to hear more about curiosity…
On Burnout.
When burnout happens, it’s time to love yourself with abandon + break out one small but mighty sentence: I quit.
A story on Burnout: Loving Mirror Walk
I walked next to a friend, in the crisp, late fall air. The heat generated from the first two miles let me know I’d need a shower when I got home, no matter how much i vented my coat. A fellow prolific creative, heart-centered momma, and woman finding her way to joy, we never tire of topics to connect over.
As an enneagram two, I invited her to share her recent experiences first; create that safe container for friendships. I used to think I did this because I didn’t think that much of myself. Now, I know I do it because it’s my nature.
As we started our second mile, she stopped, turned towards me, and stated
“Heidi, I don’t know if I could do what you do; sit and create every day at the same time and put out something once a week.”
As she said this, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. My legs turned as heavy as anchors; I caught my breath. I could tell my defensiveness (i.e. ego) kicked in as my insides were pointing me towards something I already knew, like one of those 1950’s arrowed diner signs.
“Well, I sat down and wrote my book at the same time every day, it’s a routine that feeds my joy of writing.” my ego spoke back, then the softening occurred.
“And I have felt like butter scraped over too much bread lately.” my non-ego part of me finished the thought.
- The next day, I sat down to write a story and poem. I couldn’t.
- The day after, I did twelve straight hours of housework and kid..
- The next, passive-aggressive-resentful Heidi woke up. I could feel her snarky valley girl voice weighing down my spirit. “Like that will ever happen,” “not like they care,” and “God, why can’t my teenagers parent themselves?” circled through my brain like a squeaky merry-go-round. I self-edited so much, I became an introvert.
- The day after was Monday. With my wife and kids gone to work, I couldn’t open my laptop. It felt like it would be one-thousand pounds. Instead of letting my head go into a death-to-Heidi’s-new-career spiral, I made healthy food and took two naps.
- Finally, the next day, I woke up and cried. Yes, a breakdown.
I spent the rest of the week eating and napping.
The next week, I started wondering what was going on. A word immediately came to me: Burnout. And it reminded me I’ve been blogging for eighteen months, podcasting for seven, growing Facebook for twelve, and co-hosting a Youtube show + Facebook Group for three. My focus has been on those things. Trying to be more helpful. For more people. Growing too slowly to help, at least in the monetary sense. And the hard truth, I couldn’t keep it all up. No matter how much I wanted to.
The SoulJourner QUESTion
The Solution >> I journaled about what will help me. The answer: Focus on my book and course. And another word came into my sphere: Alignment. I need to align my focus with who I am. Honor my needs for rest and quiet so I can share my deep, sometimes humorous, insights with you. To do this, I need to quit some things.
My wish for you: May you take time to ask yourself what’s important, and may you remember to bring your self, your vision, your personality, and your needs for self-care right alongside it. The universe wants you brilliant, whole, and loved. For that’s how you were born and how you were made to be. And May you create your very own Burnout Balm to soothe and heal your heart and soul!
The Solution: Burnout Balm
A special heartfelt thanks to the teachers who helped me uncover my own Burnout Balm: my walk with my creative friend, Alexandra Taketa’s blog post, and the books: Burnout, Miracle Morning for Entrepreneurs, and Dear Writer, You need to Quit.
Focus, Mad Libs, Dead Dragons, and Empowered Joy
Ready to get to Empowered Joy? Then you’ll need some Mad Libs, Dead Dragons, and Focus!
Hello, my beautiful friend! How are you and how are you taking care of yourself today? How was your Thanksgiving, if you celebrated it? Did you mask or vax up and see family? Would love to know! While I absolutely love Thanksgiving, I’m extra thankful for leftovers. (a.k.a. I don’t have to cook for the next ten days. 🦃🙏💕So….
CONFESSION: I can’t do everything. Once in awhile, I get caught up in a mindset where I tell myself “I can do everything, I got this!” I have a pretty creative and analytical brain, so both sides are always on board. What’s not on board: my time and sanity. So, inevitably, I end up taking a ton more time to do things that would be better outsourced, like to one of my kids, my wife, or to a professional.
SECOND Confession: I’ve been sitting on my book and companion workbook, telling myself I can format them myself. I have come to learn that the learning curve is steep and the results for my book could be a disaster. I am seeking help this week and starting to record it and put it in professional hands. I am becoming focused on what will help my message reach the most souls: my book.
My plan of attack: I am focusing on what I can do quickly, outsourcing what keeps me stuck, and keeping my important goal as my line of focus.
Which leads me to my new Facebook Group, My Joyfully Ever After (yes, you want to join!) My poll of the week in the group is: how do you stay focused on the important stuff with all life’s distractions? And my Question of the week is also up: what is one goal you are committed and focused on in the next 3-6 months?
FIVE things for you today!
1) FYI: I am launching my book MARCH 2022. Before then, I will be exclusively focused on sending you encouraging messages + becoming more visible + getting my book out.
2) Get ready to soak in more Heidi stories via video and podcast. I just launched my own YouTube Channel and will also be the guest on some podcasts as well.
3) Speaking of Shows, Heather and I are going live today at NOON CST to talk “From Hot Mess to Empowered Joy” I’ll also be reading from my upcoming book, too! Join us? We’ll be live on our YouTube Channel OR Facebook Group!
4) AND speaking of podcasts, I was on one and talked about my journey from Waking up to Transforming my life. Catch my episode on Apple Podcasts here: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/find-your-joyfully-ever-after-with-heidi-esther/id1577159495?i=1000542891954 OR on Katharine Loranger’s YouTube Channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0e6ZSPcMDQ7HWdVP4h_Yfw/videos. If you want to see other places I’ve been featured, pop over to my Featured Page.
5) Don’t forget to pick up your Self-Love Letter Mad Libs! Get your copy at http://freebie.heidiesther.com/MadLibs. Once you do that, join me in the new Facebook Group to do the prompts in December. I promise, it will be fun! Here’s more info!
Sending you peace and focus to spend time getting to know the person who matters a lot in your life…Beautiful You!
The SoulJourner QUESTion
Focusing on what matters
1) What’s your goal? Name it and give it a time frame.
2) Answer these three questions: What are you joyfully looking forward to doing as it relates to your goal? What do you need to learn? What are you absolutely not looking forward to?
3) Ask for help with what you are not looking forward to doing. Be creatively resourceful if you don’t have funds. Find resources to help you learn. Keep Joy as your compass. AND ask for help with or let go of anything else in your life that is taking up time or sucking your joy away. Yes, it’s hard to ask for help. And also liberating!
Episode 4: Four Steps to your Personal Freedom
November 2021
Hello my dear friend! How are you and how are you taking care of yourself today? Yep, the rumors are true. I took a before-work nap today. Four nights this week, I’ve been in kid-shuffling-around mode at night. And then Elvis, my step-dog, woke me up twice right before wake up time. When my alarm went off, I groaned.
A little voice inside of me said please to go back to sleep. Then another said suck it up, you’ll be fine. A third said, get your stuff done, get the kids out of the house, and lay back down. Boom. I had my answer.
On this Thanksgiving eve, I have a word gift for you. You might associate it with a favorite hymn or your Thanksgiving meal. I assure you, this word is not only for church or holidays. The word is
Grace.
We sing about grace in the Church. We hope we receive it from God when we have fallen. We give grace for bountiful food and company that nourishes our bodies and souls.
Going forward, I challenge you to think of Grace in a new way. To take Grace, wrap it up, and give it back to yourself with passionate abandon. Let it rain on you as a watershed of compassion and love and forgiveness. Give yourself grace for being and living the miracle that is You. No matter how you woke up. No matter what “they” said or did. No matter what. Period.
But I mess up all the time, you might be saying to yourself. What then? You don’t make mistakes. You are not a mistake. You have unexpected, and sometimes uncomfortable, steps along your path. Why? So you learn what you’re meant to. Why? So you can unlock and live your happiness, freedom, and joy.
So, whadda ya say? Try it with me?
And would you like to know the three other steps that help me show up every day, guilt-free, worry-free, in joy, with freedom and love for myself? Listen to Heather and I talk Personal Freedom.
Sending you love, light, grace, and laughter, Heidi Esther
Live with Heidi and Heather: Episode 4
Watch Episode 4: Four Steps to Your Personal Freedom
Did you like the show? Don’t forget to like and subscribe to our YouTube channel.
The SoulJourner QUESTion
Three ways to engage Grace.
- Will you take the Grace challenge?
- Facebook Question of the week: Who embodies Grace to you? Answer on my Facebook page.
- Facebook POLL of the week: What word do you most associate with grace? Join & answer in the Live with Heidi and Heather Group.
Ready for more Live with Heidi and Heather shows? Check out our page.
Or subscribe to our YouTube Channel!
