Gaming Series 1/2: When I tried playing Roblox

Are we raising children who are too lazy to virtually work for virtual money? I don’t like my survivability prospects.

Gaming Series 1/2: What happened when I tried playing Roblox, Gaming Series 2/2: What is the internet teaching my daughter?

In sweet memory of childhood Christmas breaks filled with my brothers and I playing video games.

Me: Okay, Barbara, I’m ready if you are. 

Barbara in her thermals, and I in my fleece nightgown settled down for a long winter’s nap fun winter’s break. 

OHHH! I wonder what they’re going to play? Read on and find out, joyful spirit!

One Lunch that was too big to Stomach

Not in a box. Not with a fox. Not in a car. Not in a bar. Not here OR there.

PSST! Scroll to the bottom of One Lunch Too Big and claim your FREE Gift! Hint: It involves soap 🙂

God, I so miss going out to lunch…

My face turned hot. My lips pursed. My stomach lurched. I quickly grabbed my fork and knife and concentrated on cutting my pizza into toddler squares. Still listening to Betsy. 

Betsy: A woman I’ve known for a year. How could I not see? Was I, now, my own social media filter? Has she been presenting facts that I, simply, could not, would not – recognize? 

what’s so different about betsy? And why is heidi freaking out about it? read more!

Thanksgiving Grace, and crying

Woken Grace, 2020

Dear God, Earth Mother, The Universe, Higher Power, or whatever you believe in,

We are, though we may not always show it, grateful for all you give us. For all you bless us to live with and love. For all you give us to eat that nourishes our souls, today and forward. Thank you.

Today is Thanksgiving.

I woke, laden and remorseful. For the immense suffering that it took to make my plate possible:

how long is this grace? about 4 min 🙂 read on, woken soul!

Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing, with love

Honestly, I just thought play meant sanitizing and rotating the kids’ toys. And you don’t care that I shave my toe knuckles or …

Engagement Series 1/3: How Can I Love You? Engagement Series 2/3: The Return of the Ring Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing, with love

6 Months after Proposal, duffle bag on the floor

Me: I’m sorry. You know I love you, right?

Stacey (wiping tears): It doesn’t feel like it. 

Allllright, what did Heidi do now? And what does that have to do with sponge baths? read on!

Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

What does a dog know about codependence? Apparently, a whole lot.

Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog , Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps, Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

You CAN teach an old dog new tricks! 

I was witnessing a miracle! Every step was a God-send. 

Here’s how it went down:

Walking a bag of dirt is what it’s like walking elvis. Normally. Behold the miracle & read on!

Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps

Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog , Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps, Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

In My Bedroom

I paced in my bedroom. No other people were home. Just Elvis.

What should I do about him? What can I do? What am I going to do? It’s getting louder. I can’t handle it.

The pacing. The whining. The vomiting. The pooping outside his appointed area.

It’s been 5 days since his dog mom (my fiancee) – left. Elvis, her Italian Greyhound, is miserable. Therefore, I am miserable.

Yes, This could be the end for Heidi and elvis. but wait…

God hides under the kitchen table for 35 years?

Hello,
this is God.
I’ll be handling all of your problems today.
Have a miraculous day.

Heidi Esther’s negative-ninny mind has got her cornered again. How is she supposed to live when she feels like – she’s – a mistake? She finds an answer under the kitchen table…

8 years ago in a treehouse

I blew my nose in the last kleenex. I sat in a dark corner of my bedroom, my arms hugging my knees. Across from me: a wall of windows. The day was bright. My view was shaded, showing a lush, leafy vista. I pulled my hoodie strings tighter around my head. 

Why was Heidi so sad? It looks like such a nice day outside! Read on to find out…

Engagement Series 2/3: The Return of the Ring

Engagement Series 1/3: How Can I Love You? Engagement Series 2/3: The Return of the Ring Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing, with love

If you like it, do you have to put a ring on it?

Me:  I mean, yes. I’ll marry you. Someday. I love you.  Truly, madly, deeply. You know. 

Stacey (sheepishly): Yea, baby. I know. 

Me: Can I see the ring? 

will heidi put the ring on and (gasp!) become the ACCOMMODATING wife again? read on!

Engagement Series 1/3: How can I love you?

Engagement Series 1/3: How Can I Love You? Engagement Series 2/3: The Return of the Ring Engagement Series 3/3: Sponge Bathing

Coffee with a caveat

Stacey walked down my narrow, dark, second-floor hallway. She has this rock-star swagger about her walk. When we walk, her Air Force service gives her the intuitive tools to lock-step together, which I find romantic. She held my morning coffee in her hand, which, of course, fully endeared her to me. Then, something unexpected happened.

She didn’t hand over the coffee and got down on one knee. 

will heidi ever get her morning coffee? Read on!

Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I Hate about Her Dog

Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog . Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps. Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

7 years ago: Meet the Satellite

Me: Doesn’t it ever bother you that Elvis is always following you around?

Stacey: No, I think it’s kinda cute.

Me: But, don’t you ever want a break from him?

Stacey: Why would I ever need a break from this handsome man?

I stared over to a long nose attached to a tiny black head. Brown-black eyes stared back at me intensely. I couldn’t see any other part of Elvis; he was hidden behind Stacey’s knee.

why is Heidi so sassy about ELVIS? What’s the deal? Read on!
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