Gaming Series 1/2: What happened when I tried playing Roblox, Gaming Series 2/2: What is the internet teaching my daughter?

Adopt Me!

Barbara and I go through the Roblox “stylizing” process once more (I don’t change a thing) and are dropped in a cartoon town at wintertime. Even when I fall in the lake, I still skate like Snoopy. Brilliant.

An egg starts following me around.

Me: Barbara, there’s an egg creepin’ on me…

Barbara: Those are eggs you take care of then hatch into your pet. That’s, like, the point of the game. I’ll take it.

Me: Ahhh, this game sounds much better. Like a cooperative game.

The muscles in my back relax.

Barbara: Yea, kinda. Hey mom, let me do something to your character.

Poof! She made me elf-sized!

Barbara: Mom, you’re a little slow, so I made you a baby so I can carry you.

Well, I didn’t ask for help. But I am going pretty slow, so I’m gonna take it and not complain. I’ll have a boundary talk with her about assumptions some other time. That’s a mom-mood-killer for sho’.

Barbara picks up me-baby and the egg.

Barbara: I have something special I want to do with you.

Me: OK! Watching is nice.

We hop on what looks to be a schooner boat, attached to a giant balloon.

Barbara: We’re going to the castle in the clouds.

The next 20 seconds is lovely. Our boat docks. Barbara carries me and the egg over to…a plank??

And she drops both of us!

Me (shocked): Barbara!!! How could you?

Barbara (giggling): I’ve always wanted to do that.

We bounce from the fall and are magically okay.

Me: That’s not polite! You need to ask first next time.

What are these games teaching children?

My new pet

30 seconds later, the egg hatches. It’s a grey cat named Junior. Barbara has me claim the cat.

Not 30 seconds later, the cat says “I’m hungry”. We go to the grocery store. I somehow have accumulated over $200, and buy some cheese, tacos, and water for the cat. They also have some good-looking desserts, but I don’t think those are good for me-baby or cats.

I feed the cat.

Not 30 seconds later, the cat says “I’m sleepy.” I look to Barbara for guidance. Barbara leads me to her house. She has me front her some money (Apparently, in this game, babies make lots of money.) She builds us a crib.

Barbara continues to decorate her house with the borrowed money.

So that’s what her money is going for, virtual interior decorating?? I would rather see her buy an actual Kitchenaid, than a virtual mid-century-modern loft bed.

Not 30 seconds later, the cat says “I’m sick” and is surrounded by a green cloud. We have to go to the hospital. I also get sick. My guess is the disease was communicable.

The hospital (IS FREE?) We eat some (HEALING APPLES) and are cured. Last I checked, golden apples are usually laced with poison.

In 5 minutes, the cat ate 4 tacos, 6 pieces of cheese, and drank 2 bottles of water. (AND THERE IS NO LITTER BOX??) I’m exhausted and put myself in my crib to recuperate from caretaking Junior.

Barbara (adding a fairy tree to my nursery): You know, mom, you don’t have to take care of Junior.

Me: You mean he won’t die?

Barbara: No, he will live. But you won’t get to evolve him.

Me: Wha???

Barbara: Yea, like, if you hatch and feed 4 cats, they will become one super cat.

Me: So, if I ignore the cat, he lives. If I feed four cats, eventually they become one cat?

Barbara: Yep.

Me: So, in this world, which is all about pet care… You only have to feed your pets before they are born. Four cats become one to prevent overpopulation. You get enjoyment from throwing babies and unborn animals from high places. The only other thing to do is update your house. Healthcare is universal but unnecessary, and babies make a lot of money?

Barbara: You got it, mom!

Dear God, Thank you for this time with my daughter. But I still don’t like my survivability prospects.

POEM: the best present

Dear My Life, 
Thank you
for this gift. 
  of presence. 
for this gift, 
  a moment.
for this gift
  a heart beat. 
for this gift
  to live and to feel
  to love and to laugh
  to grieve and to breathe, 
whenever I wake up
and remember. 

The SoulJourner QUESTion

Time. Isn’t it the best gift of all? No amount of money or old-lady cream can turn back the clock. It’s the best gift. And it’s also a constant balancing act. Time for self-care. Time for rest. Time for work. Time for loved ones. And time for play.

PROMPT: How do you know when you’ve gotten off balance? That you need time to rest and take care of your heart? OR… what’s something that you lose track of time doing (alone or with others) and how can you incorporate more of that into your new year?

Did you like this series? If so, try this one on for size >> Country Club Series 1/2: It’s the Most Aunt-Flo-der-ful, Country Club Series 2/2: Aunt Flo Strikes Back