Gaming Series 1/2: When I tried playing Roblox

Gaming Series 1/2: What happened when I tried playing Roblox, Gaming Series 2/2: What is the internet teaching my daughter?

In sweet memory of childhood Christmas breaks filled with my brothers and I playing video games.

Me: Okay, Barbara, I’m ready if you are. 

Barbara in her thermals, and I in my fleece nightgown settled down for a long winter’s nap fun winter’s break. 

God, thank you for this time together. This is going to be a great bonding experience for me and my 13-year-old daughter! I’ve spent a shit ton of time with her brother lately, and, while I know she is laid back, she needs to know she is loved.  I know that you both will help me through whatever I need to learn about this Roblox. Amen. 

My only experience and issue with this online Roblox video game is buying her (with real money) pretend money for it. Which is beyond me. Whatever happened to hopping on your banana seat bike and riding to the EZ-Go for a pack of Zingers? 

The conversation we’ve had at least 20 times: 

Me: Tell me again why can’t you virtually earn the virtual money? 

Barbara: I mean, like, you can, but it takes time.

Me: Exactly! You spend so much time playing, I bet you’re rich! Really thinking: Are we raising children who are too lazy to virtually work for virtual money? I don’t like my survivability prospects. 

Barbara: How about I just use my own money? 

Me: Well, you don’t spend any money outside of vacation… Really thinking: Damn. Why does she always use the Thrifty Card?

Barbara: Thanks, Mom! You’re the best! (Hug)

At the desk

We turn on our iPads. Barbara gets me a username: I’m sxapling I couldn’t be just sapling because there are 60 million other players. Wha??? She creates a fake account so we can goof around – just us. Isn’t that sweet? 

The first thing I have to do is dress my character. Liking the culturally-sensitive options!

I start as a bald lego woman with mom jeans and a cardigan. FYI, this outfit is the default “stylish” women’s outfit. Maybe I am back in the 80s…I decide I need something a little different. 

I eventually pick out a man’s body and a woman’s head with a white baseball shirt, rainbow tie, black hair, and chunky glasses with a pet cat in a shark costume on my shoulder. And I am carrying a guitar. 

Me: I’m all done! 

Barbara: Mom, you’re wearing a rainbow battle tank. I can only see your head! 

Me: Oh, I thought that was a great finishing touch! 

Barbara: Giggling

Me (winking): Okay, I’ll take the battle tank off. I feel less safe, without it, though. 

What IS the money for? I didn’t spend any to dress up. AND I got a pet, a tie, and a tank! There were some paid clothing options, but tons of free ones….

Barbara: How about we play an Obbi game? 

Me: I thought we were playing Roblox? 

Barbara: Pointing to her screen. There are thousands of games in Roblox, Mom. 

Me: So, we’re playing a game within a game? 

A vision of a fractal pops in my brain, like something you’d see in David Bowie’s Labyrinth. I get this nervous feeling like we could get lost and never come back….

Me: So, there is no Roblox game? 

Barbara: Well, no. I don’t think so. Wait, there could be. 

I take a deep breath. I feel like this could be too much for me, but I hold my seat. 

Me: How about you pick a really easy one?

Really Easy Obbi

We are dropped at a start line with a red arrow on the floor. There is no clock. I don’t know how many lives I have. hmmm.

Barbara: Okay, the circle on the bottom left is how you walk. The arrow on the bottom right is how you jump. Then, if you touch any other part of your screen, it changes perspective. 

Me: What? So, you mean I have to be in charge of THREE things? 

Judgy-pants: Heidi, maybe it’s time to throw in the towel. The controller you used for Super Mario and Zelda only had move and sword. Hyrule was pancake-flat. You never had to change perspective to defeat Octoroks. 

Uni-llama: Don’t give up before you start. Who knows? Maybe you are good at it! Or, at least, you’ll have fun being sucky!

Judgy-pants: LOL, cnt w8, momjeans44

Uni-llama: U gt this, battle tank! ✊✊

Me: Let’s do this! 

Barbara: Okay, I’m going ahead; see you in a bit! 

Me (treating “perspective” like hot lava): I walked around a sky walkway! Woo Hoo! It says I’m .3% done! That wasn’t so bad. 

Barbara: Good job, mom! 

I’m so proud to be Barbara’s mom! She’s so supportive!

I am on a second piece of floor with a red arrow. Before me is a white walkway with, what looks like, long blue legos every few steps. I start walking. 

Boom. My whole person disintegrates into lego pieces. 

I’m dropped back Jumanji-style back on the second piece of floor with the red arrow. 

Next time: I accidentally change perspective and see me falling to pieces from the top of my head. 

Third time: I see me falling to pieces from the bottom of my shoes. 

I disintegrate at least 4 more times. Time for help.

Me: I don’t see any spikes on the blue legos. What’s up with that? 

Barbara: Mom, you need to jump over them. 

Me: But they don’t look dangerous. 

Barbara: Here, (pointing to the corners of my screen) you need to push the jump button and then go forward at the same time. 

Me (breathing in): Okay, so I jump and move at the same time. I can do that. 

Turns out, I can’t do that. 

I tried more than 20 times and kept falling to my death off of the sky walkway. One time, I got past 3 legos and almost to the last one. Then, I was Icarus again.  .3% progress is my finish line today. At least it didn’t cost me anything!

Me: Barbara, how about I’ll practice when you are at Dad’s. Can we try another one? 

Barbara: Sure, mom. 

And here’s the conclusion! Gaming Series 2/2: What is the internet teaching my daughter?

POEM: A Needed Conversation

This little light of mine,
I've never seen it shine. 
This little light of mine, 
It won't spark on time.
This little light of mine, 
it's not at all so fine. 
Hey! Why can you just 
Let it shine, let it shine, oh let it shine? 

Well, I've hid in under that bushel. 
Yes, it is safe in there. 
What? You've hid it under a bushel? 
No! It doesn't belong in there! 
Hey, why can't it say in that bushel? 
It's unnoticeable down there.  
That's why it can't stay in that bushel. 
You! You're meant to shine out here. 
 
Listen, You are made of joy, 
Child, the Universe told me so. 
And You are made of light, 
Soul, the stars twinkled it so. 
And You are made of grace, 
Flesh, the divine created you so. 
You are made of, most, love, 
so, let you shine, let you shine, oh let you shine.

The SoulJourner QUESTion

Coming from two strong lines of workaholics, play was not something that was, at the forefront. Studies, grades, security. You know: so I can make money and my family can eat. I get it.

However, I have found there are no better traveling companions than Joy and Play. Other than maybe Gratitude.

PROMPT: What do you love to do? What makes you laugh? How can you incorporate that feeling or activity into every day? One of my easiest ways that I put joy in my day is I smell a little Balsam-fir scented pillow that I bought in Acadia National Park. We romped, got lost, and enjoyed every minute of that vacation 4 years ago. And I get to smell that bit-o-joy every day.