Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I Hate about Her Dog

Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog . Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps. Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning

7 years ago: Meet the Satellite

Me: Doesn’t it ever bother you that Elvis is always following you around?

Stacey: No, I think it’s kinda cute.

Me: But, don’t you ever want a break from him?

Stacey: Why would I ever need a break from this handsome man?

I stared over to a long nose attached to a tiny black head. Brown-black eyes stared back at me intensely. I couldn’t see any other part of Elvis; he was hidden behind Stacey’s knee.

why is Heidi so sassy about ELVIS? What’s the deal? Read on!

you can’t make me go back in there!

Divorced Scaredy Cat

I stood with sinking legs, at the threshold of my ex’s new house. Inside was silent and cave-dark against the light from the doorway. His large figure, daunting, challenging, between me and the sun.

I wanted a hoodie. I needed a bathroom. I desperately wanted to compliment him. My kids, 6 and 7, were still inside, looking for guidance. My tongue was stuck; lead feet ensued.

Geeeeeze, people, stop getting ahead of yourselves! This is not a story about violence. But when my ex gets angry, it’s like his eyes sink into his head and turn all black – like the black-oil people who get infected with the alien virus in X-Files. Get what I’m sayin?

Pre-divorce, my immediate response to his anger was either:

What do you do when you’re scared? read on and respond at the end!
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