Woken Grace, 2020
Dear God, Earth Mother, The Universe, Higher Power, or whatever you believe in,
We are, though we may not always show it, grateful for all you give us. For all you bless us to live with and love. For all you give us to eat that nourishes our souls, today and forward. Thank you.
Today is Thanksgiving.
I woke, laden and remorseful. For the immense suffering that it took to make my plate possible:
- The betrayal of indigenous friendship that led to genocide,
- The hunting of innocents that creates slavery, and
- The rape of our land, skies, and seas that produced my plate.
Today, I have disproportionate privilege of this bountiful meal.
Today is Thanksgiving.
I am laden and remorseful. For half of our political country in mourning.
Are we all not cut from the same cloth? We all go to bed with the love starvation of tens of generations before us. We search endlessly – in our parents, spouses, children, bosses, presidents – for confirmation we are loved, we are owed, we are right.
Over the last decade, I have drowned and burned and emaciated from this love starvation. This is what I have learned: you can work and cajole and conspire and give until you bleed out. You will never feel any love until you first listen, then trust, and, finally, accept yourself. Your time for care from anyone else is over. It’s only and now up to you, as it has always been.
Today, may we be grateful for the privilege of waking up and failing and trying again, always, to love ourselves.
Dear God, Earth Mother, The Universe, Higher Power, or whatever you believe in,
We recognize we have been laden and blessed with privilege.
May we use the food, shelter, and disproportionate opportunities you give us to fuel our resolve to:
- Help the remaining indigenous people out of poverty,
- Honor and give reparations to all those we enslaved,
- Heal our land, air, and water so our children’s children don’t witness a mass extinction
- Spend time healing our wounds, accepting ourselves, so we can show up to do all this work, whole, and full of self-love.
Amen.
The SoulJourner QUESTion
My PROMPT exercise is hard. I challenge you to stay with it for a week. Because you wouldn’t be here if the Universe/God/Earth Mother/Higher Power didn’t have a plan for your beautiful soul. Honestly, it took me a few months to not cry when I said it.
PROMPT:
Practice saying to yourself in the mirror every morning: “I am lovable, loving, and loved.” What feelings does it evoke for you?
Love, light, and gratitude for the woken spirit of you, Heidi Esther 🙂
