Are You the Hero, Damsel, or Evil Stepmother?

How are you, beautiful? My wish for you today is to welcome in the darkness with stillness and curiosity, while also holding space for hope and light. As my dear friend and astrologer says (I’m paraphrasing) “may you welcome in the yin and yang, the duality of life.” The duality of the knowledge in the dying and rebirth of the light within you. After all, it’s only after we let things go that we can let in the new. Speaking of letting go and letting in, I feel called to share a little story with you.

Are you the Hero, The Damsel, or The Evil Stepmother?

When my kids were little, I was a bit of an exhausted perfectionistic doormat-y mommy. Who tried to do it all. Who tried to create a life for my kids where they learned, thrived, and were properly bathed and socialized… I called my mom everyday, to learn things from how to mash potatoes and even plant something in the ground.

But, as if all that wasn’t enough…

Something always followed me around, from the time I was a teen through the next two decades of my life. A sinking pit in my stomach. Every time there was a movement, I would jump. Every time I got in the car and looked in my rearview mirror. Every time I was on the sidewalk and someone walked towards me, that sinking sensation in my stomach would happen, and I would move to the side and apologize for my double-wide (stroller.)

YEA, it’s like I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting to be “found out”. I was at-the-ready to apologize for whatever came up, whatever I did, just to make sure everyone had the best experience. It’s like I was constantly feeling that I was doing something wrong. In reality, I was overhelping and people pleasing to exhaustion.

But I thought, all this time: I am a Helper, after all! That’s my superpower. I’m the best Robin that Batman ever saw!

So, what was the problem?

When my life fell apart in all its kaleidoscope of colors, being the helper and the sidekick didn’t work. I had to work on myself and my mess.

And that’s when it happened.

I realized I was not meant to live my life as Robin.

HONEST EDIT > (I did try living my life as a damsel in distress and also as my own evil stepmother, those didn’t work either, fyi)

After a fractal journey of learning through pain points, ( < welcome to the hero’s fractal journey and my logo) I realized that…

To live authentically,

while having the most joy, and

no longer “waiting for the other shoe to drop”…

I had to let go of living in the shadow and embrace standing in my own Heroic light.

I had to embrace being someone who doesn’t get pits in their stomach. Who doesn’t apologize for taking up space.

So, I had to ask myself this question all the time. And now I’m asking it of you (in each little situation you get into…) Are You the Hero, the Damsel, or the Evil Stepmother?

AND, if you notice you’re NOT the hero, here’s your #JoyChallenge!

Hero Step >> Believe You are Equally Worthy

I had to believe that I am just as worthy as everyone else of living life as The Hero. Having this belief was the first step to claiming my Heroic Joy.

Now, I walk alongside women through the process of believing and owning their worth. Of feeling they are just as divine and as much as a gift to our world as Mother Theresa.

How do I do this? I hold space to reflect your unique brilliance. I walk you through Three Frameworks: Emotional Intelligence, Self-Leadership, and Co-active Coaching for fulfillment and balance. I provide the questions. Because I know, beautiful {{ subscriber.first_name }}, you have the answers inside.

So, are you ready to Embrace your Hero?

Here are two steps you can do any day, beautiful ๐Ÿ’ƒ ๐Ÿ’ƒ

  1. Share how you are Embracing your own Inner Hero in the My Joyfully Ever After Facebook group!
  2. โ€‹Chat with me โ€‹about your journey and see if support is what you need to unleash your inner Hero (FYI I have only 2 OPENINGS left in January)

๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿ’ What a better present to give YOU and YOUR LIFE than one of empowered Joy, amIright? ๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿ’

sending you love, light, and worthiness to light a thousand galaxies,

heidi esther

*What does this phrase mean, anyway? According to grammarist.com… The phrase wait for the other shoe to drop became popular at the turn of the twentieth century, and originated in New York tenements. Tenements were usually poorly constructed, crowded apartment buildings. A resident could certainly hear his upstairs neighbor dropping his shoes on the floor as he took them off at nightโ€“first one, then the other.

PS Let us know how you embrace the Hero! Pop over to โ€‹my Joyfully Ever After Facebook Groupโ€‹!

PPS Are you ready to stop waiting to be the Hero of your life? โ€‹Book a Joy Discovery chat hereโ€‹.

HONESTLY, it’s pretty much impossible to live a life that brings you Joy if you are always treating yourself not as equally brilliant as everyone else. So, if you want more joy, then give yourself permission to be the Hero of your day! And, if that’s too hard, try being the hero of your morning, first. Rooting for you ๐Ÿ’• ๐Ÿ’•

Never Grateful

Does the prospect of practicing gratitude annoy you? Gratitude used to bother the crap outta me, to be honest. A voice in my head was like “so what? it’s not like gratitude puts the food on the table, drives the kids around, or helps me deal with my ex.” Right?

ahhhhh, therein lies the secret sauce of gratitude.

ahhh! read on for the sauce!

Yard Sale, brought to you by Impostor Syndrome

I stood there, clutching the fake microphone. The words dripped out of my mouth like cold honey. I could not heat them up, no matter how much I tried. All of the energy I had left pooled in my feet, anchoring me down to sleepy depths.

To try to muster some energy, I started pacing, but the lights in the room reflected upon the words on my pages, making me feel that I couldnโ€™t even see what I was supposed to be talking about. And the longer the cold honey dripped out of my mouth, my throat started to resist speaking. It starting to close like a flower at sunset, closing up shop. I coughed. And soldiered on.ย 

how is she gonna get out of this one? spoiler alert: she doesn’t!!

When You’re Stuck

What do you do when you’re stuck? Actually, you might not be stuck, you might be full. This story and the following revelation were inspired by 100 coffee dates in 2022 + 2023. Many thanks to the beautiful souls I connected with who were vulnerable enough to share their hopes, struggles, and stories.

How are we so full that we get stuck? That’s weird!

A Gift of Faith and Love

A 1988 middle-school story of the beginnings of my journey to faith and love.

My 12-year-old eyes opened to greet the early dark and quiet of my new-to-me house on a Sunday. Teenage-hood had not set in entirely, and my babysitting gig Saturday night thankfully didn’t go much past 10pm as I was waiting for the toddler’s parents to come home.

read on for a FREEBIE at the end!

What good are savings if you are dying?

I typed this into the chat box, to a message to my wife. No, no, both of us are healthy middle-aged people. Just as tired and achey as the next middle-aged parents, coming to grips with sore hips, backs, and eyes that now need reading glasses. For those minor inconveniences, I am daily grateful. Nothing a little more yoga, patience, and five pairs of expertly-placed reading glasses around the house can’t solve. 

but what is really going on here? Read on, intrepid traveler!

3 minutes to revolutionize your love

Revolutionize your love? It takes three minutes to align with your self and your self-love. Here’s the scoop!

Hello, sweet soul and friend. How are things going? And how are you taking care of your big heart today? For me, it’s been an odd month. Changing schedules, covid outbreaks, clogged drains. In other words, life!

So, schedules. During the past month, I all-but-abandoned a part of my morning routine. Today, I started it up again, and it felt like coming home. To me. To why I love myself. It helps me remember me – ALL of me – when I get lost in productivity, books, helping others, and even house cleaning! Here are three sentences you can write down to wrap yourself in love at the start of every day ๐Ÿ™‚

Love-Your-Infinite-Self Morning Routine ๐Ÿ‘‡

click to get the three phrases!

Don’t know what to do? Ask

Hello, sweet soul. Do you ever get in a spot where you don’t know what to do? Either because you are in shock, at a loss for words, or wound up with intense emotions?

Last week, I started a lovely live YouTube convo with a new friend in my basement office. Thirty seconds after going live, my son called me. Twice. Later, I could hear my dog barking, for like ten minutes.

After my convo, I realized I had sent my son to the wrong hair salon; the new hairstylist wouldn’t take checks or a card over the phone. And my daughter didn’t think barking would bother my show from upstairs.

Coming into the kitchen to get lunch and apologize to the hair stylist, I saw dishes all over. Which are the kids’ duty while they are home in the summer.

So, full of both remorse and irritation, I started chuckling.

Really? Laughing? Yep.

During that live conversation, not five minutes prior, I had a tarot reading. In this reading, an “extra” card that popped out of the deck. What was that card? It told me I will be best served today by tending to my emotions.

Tarot. It’s not a Ouija board. It’s not a crystal ball. It’s not for witches or psychics.

Tarot is a powerful personal development tool for everybody to channels your intuition and flow knowledge right to your grey matter. Like that wise, unfiltered, and honest second opinion you’ve been waiting for.

What do you need? An open mind.

Is it helpful? In a way, it saved one human’s life. When they didn’t know what else to do, Ej, the tarot reader on my show, turned to tarot. They share some of their journey with me, in the show.

Listen to the powerful journey (yes, interrupted but always authentic!) Through The Looking Glass with Tarot Sage Ej Merrifield. You can book a reading with them at https://trailsedgeastrology.wordpress.com/work-with-us/

Soon, you’ll be able to find them @TrailsEdgeTarot on instagram. They hope to educate and empower other humans to find knowledge and healing from tarot, too. Watch and listen today.

And, here are the decks Ej talked about…

Ready for more empowering tools to get you to joy? Listen to more Through the Looking Glass convos here!

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