What does it take to keep Enjoying The Ride that is life, when things are uncertain. When things are scary? When things are out of your control?
“Oh, man, I feel like I am in a big Care Bear suit. Like, my hands are big and pink and fluffy!” I exclaimed, except when I held them up, I could see they were still regular.
“Aaaaand, I’m wearing a big helmet, like I’m a Care Bear in a space helmet. I wonder if this is what people feel like when they are high? This is ahhhhh-mazing! Well, except…” I trailed off.
The big smiles on the faces of my wife, son, and in-laws vanished.
…except I have to go potty.” I ended, quietly. My big bear paws gripped my tummy.
“Sweetheart?” a voice accompanied a hand on my forearm, both as soft as a songbird’s footsteps.
“…I know you can do this.” my wife twittered, her blue eyes calm, confident, laughing, knowing. My eyes grew wide.
“You bet I can! If I can survive a 2 hour cave tour, I can handle a half hour of waiting and a minute in a rollercoaster, even if it tips to 91 degrees!” I yell and punch my bear hands up in jazz-hands triumph. I guess I always did believe I was part Care Bear. I just didn’t know I was only one motion-sickness tablet away.
Everyone erupted in laughter.
The ride was lovely. By my third coaster, I had my hands up in the air. No unnecessary trips to the bathroom all day, or stops to take headache meds.
Rollercoasters. Heights. Seven years ago, this would have been a nightmarish, tear-filled day. The opposite of enjoying the ride.
Until, well, I had to drive an open-air bridge over a gorge in Yellowstone. And then I realized how much fear was behind my wheel, instead of courage. Then I made a vow to not let fear drive my life anymore.
Back to Present! The next day…
We settled into a visit to my in-laws. I call them the happy-fun-ball in-laws. Whatever we can dream, they and their active retirement community have it in abundance: Amusement parks, alcoholic ice cream, dinners out, beach days, bounce boots, line dancing. There is never a dull moment. If you know anything about the enneagram, it’s the pace of a full-on 7 with the wise knowledge and backing of a 5.
And if you know anything about me, I’m, well, slower: Think: big sleeping cat. (enneagram 2w3) My daughter, even slower still. Think: sloth. (enneagram 9)
And I loved every minute of it. Especially having a heart-to-heart with my mother-in-law over coffee.
It wasn’t always this way, however. In the past, while visiting (almost) anyone, I’d come away exhausted, frustrated, or sad.
What happened? What changed?
In short: I “did” me. I helped my kids voice their needs. I let others “do” themselves.
The Result? I became the Heroine of my vacation! My Joy steps:
🤜 I didn’t let my old fears (heights, no me-time) drive my car 🤜 I put my happiness first. 🤜 I decided that I’m worthy of my time, too. 🤜 I gave myself permission to speak up, and others permission to do the same.
I received a message recently that brought tears to my eyes…
Heidi, I was so moved by your words. It felt like you knew exactly what I needed in this season of not knowing anything at all. Since your talk, I have had your words reminding me “I am worthy of joy” and “my happiness comes first” as a constant rhythm in my head. The whole event spoke new life into my weary bones and showed me a version of myself that I never thought I could be.
I am marking today as the first day I let go of being the damsel in distress, and become the Heroine of my story.
Megan Woodson, keynote attendee
Joy Challenge!
Dear bright light, Can you remember a time when you put your happiness first? How did it feel? Check into our Facebook group and let us know of your success! https://facebook.com/groups/MyJoyfullyEverAfter
If not, be FOR YOU when you feel mad/frustrated/sad. What do you need to give yourself permission to do or say? Do you need a nap, food, a convo to clear the air? What kinda help do you need to live a more authentic, rested, and happy life?
Would you like to chat about enjoying the ride of your life even more? You can always book a no-obligation free chat with me at https://HeidiEsther.com/calendar/#discovery
