Live with Heidi and Heather: Episode 003

Is Happiness a Red Herring?

Join Heidi Esther and Heather Kokx as they delve into the dark corners of…the ever-elusive Happiness in Episode 003 Happiness.

https://youtu.be/Lbrkb73htME

The SoulJourner QUESTion

Calling in my Winnie Exercise

In the Tao of Pooh, author Benjamin Hoff breaks each A.A. Milne character down into their core way of being. For Winnie the Pooh, he is the epitome of Taoism: he allows life, he lives in present, he is calm and joyful. For all the other characters, they have an overage of something that prevents them from fully enjoying life. If they could only see! (Here’s a slideshow if you want more info on the characters.)

After this exercise, you’ll be able to see when you’re a little off and Calling in Your Winnie. Embracing the values of Winnie the Pooh will help you find your inner Zen master, literally! More peace. More happiness. More flow. Boom, baby!

First, please note that it’s totally OKAY to have a favorite character who is NOT Winnie the Pooh! They are all adorable, beautiful, loyal friends.

STEP 1: Pause

When you’re feeling crappy or not enjoying all that life has for you, take a break. Take care of yourself. When you’re ready…

STEP 2: Forgiveness

Remind yourself:

  • I am Enough.
  • I am a human-in-progress.
  • As such, you will go through all the feelings of all the characters (because you are human)! The key is to just not stay stuck in the unhelpful ones. ๐Ÿ™‚

STEP 3: Congratulate

Take 30 seconds, a couple deep breaths, and try and cultivate some feelings of Pride. Be proud of yourself (maybe give yourself a bear hug!) for taking time to listen to and

STEP 4: Identify

What character most resembles how you are feeling right now?

Eeyore frets. He assumes the worst and isolates himself. He keeps his head and expectations lower than low.

Piglet hesitates and, as a result, fears for the future. Even if that’s walking under a tree! He second-guesses himself. He leans on Winnie to be brave and to take action.

Owl Pontificates. He gathers much but does not act on it. He waits to see others to share his knowledge, whether he is invited or not.

Rabbit calculates. Man, I used to totally identify with this workaholic-plan-for-everything bunny. With so much going on in Rabbit’s brain, however, there’s no room to enjoy anything. And he often overthinks things and overcomplicates situations.

Tigger is like a lightening bolt. He has energy for everything, but he does not take a break to focus it. Or think about his future. Thus, he gets caught in trees and other sticky situations.

STEP 5: Be honest.

Journal or talk with a trusted friend about what inner character(s) could be getting in your way. Yes, you can have more than one. Process what character(s) you are resonating with. What thoughts have you had or actions are you taking that are….

  • Eeyore: Isolating you from taking care of yourself, seeing friends/family more often, or avoiding other responsibilities? Common symptoms of this are depression, hopelessness, I-give-up-ness, excessive-hermit-syndrome.
  • Piglet: Preventing you from taking steps forward towards your next goal or dream? A first date? Applying for that job? Common symptoms are worry/anxiety that keeps you from enjoying things you normally like to do (like sleeping or eating, or Pac Man). Or catching yourself saying “I’m afraid that…” or “I worry that…”
  • Owl: Amassing knowledge BUT not putting it into practice or using it to help others? Common symptoms are perfectionism, always trying to teach people things you know they don’t wanna hear, interrupting others to make sure they know the right answer, impostor syndrome.
  • Rabbit: Focusing your energies on the Doing and Planning instead of the Feeling and Enjoying of life? Common symptoms of this are being a woman, burnout, overwhelm, exhaustion, feeling like you have to be doing something or you feel guilty, always preparing for life but feeling like you’re missing it.
  • Tigger: Enjoying many things and pursuits, but not pausing to listen to yourself on what to focus on for the future or what feels right for you? Common symptoms of this are rollercoaster emotions, The No-Purpose-Zone, The Squirrel-Syndrome, and Exhaustion.

STEP 6: Calling in your Winnie

Now that you’ve brought the light of awareness to what might be keeping you from living a more joyful and authentic life, here are the next steps to Call in your Winnie based on how you answered the above.

  1. For all characters:
    1. Self-compassion: Make an effort to meet yourself every morning with this question: how can I take care of myself best today? And, NO excuses, follow through on what you need! You matter.
    2. Claim your Freedom: Can you forgive and let go? Can you learn your lesson and then let it go? Can you be grateful for the opportunity and then let it go? If not, write out what is keeping you stuck and write out PROS and CONS of holding onto this (feeling/person/situation). Be sure you add in Personal Freedom into the PROS column.
  2. Eeyore: Make time for play. Be brave and try something out of your comfort zone. Call a friend and hangout. Adopt a mantra like: I am worthy. I am loved.
  3. Piglet: Make a plan. Write down your next important goal. Visualize yourself accomplishing that goal every day. Feel how you will feel when you get there. Find an accountability buddy. Then, take a baby step every day to get there. What is your first step? Adopt a mantra like: I am brave. I can do this.
  4. Owl: Make a list of your knowledge, skills, and gifts. On the next page, write down ways that feel good to you to use those in the world. Then, do something! ALSO, try the Eeyore exercise. Adopt a mantra like: I use my gifts to help others. I am kind.
  5. Rabbit: Build non-doing into your life. Take a walk, smell the hot chocolate, pet your dog. Meditate. Watch clouds. Enjoy being YOU. Practice Boundaries. Let go of the responsibilities that are the shoulds. Keep those that bring you joy. Ask for help. ALSO, try the Eeyore exercise. Adopt a mantra like: I am worthy because I am, or I treat myself as a friend.
  6. Tigger: Build breathing room into your life. Look at your fun and goals and prioritize them. Can you focus on your top few goals and say NO to some others? Adopt a mantra like: I make a difference or I create balance in my life.

Once you take a few simple steps, you’ll soon be Calling in your Winnie! ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Live with Heidi and Heather Episode 001: Why do we care?

What happens when Diet Coke won’t fix it?

Hello, my beautiful friend! How is your heart these days? And how are you taking care of your gentle, bright spirit?

I have a random question for you…would you say you’re a soul-searcher? Like, someone who’s not afraid to look inside, connect with, and dig up (the good and the bad) to find more in your life? More You? More Joy? I came across that word, and then I wrote this about what I’m trying to do here:

I encourage fellow soul-searchers to greater Joy and Authenticity with relatable true stories, playful printables & mindfulness tools.

Anyway, that one sentence is the culmination of a book I read, called Building a Story Brand. It’s draft #1. Would love to know how you feel about that sentence. It could be why you and I click, or why you feel I’m coming from outer-space sometimes! Or Both!

Speaking of outer space… My new show that aired last Wednesday, Live with Heidi and Heather, is somewhere out there. ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐ŸชI don’t know where it went, but it didn’t go where it was planned. So, it’s now in the NEW! Live Heidi and Heather Facebook Group. Or you can listen to it on my pod!

So, all future live shows will stream to our Live With Heidi and Heather YouTube channel. Next one is October 20th at noon CDT. Don’t Forget, Please go to our YouTube channel and subscribe!

So, all social media aside, I’m learning lots of lessons these days. I’ve got an interrupting-chicken sleep schedule with some late nights, some early mornings. I’ve been a little “spicy and stressed. Somedays I drink Diet Coke, cry, or nap. Or all three! Yesterday, I journaled. And uncovered my feelings.

I wrote down what I could control (how I take care of myself / my attitude) and what I couldn’t (my son’s soccer, my wife’s work.) I admitted something I would NEVER have before. Back when I was perfectionistic-codependent stay at home mom. I’m having a hard time. And I need help.

It felt like I unlocked a door from a dark room and bathed in a warm flood of sunshine. โ˜€๏ธSo, my dear friend, may you know that you are strong and brave. And loved and supported. May you take time to be honest with yourself. So you know what you need. And ask for it. Like a car-pooling buddy, a friend to lean on, or some takeout. ๐ŸŒฎ๐Ÿฅก๐Ÿ•

Why ask for help? Because Your Joy Matters. Because you deserve the sunshine. Because you are strong and you need help.

Which brings me to Live with Heidi and Heather Episode 001…

The SoulJourner QUESTion

So, being honest with oneself is hard. Harder than you might think. Here’s what I did to uncover my honest truth.

Gaining Clarity Hurdles Exercise

You have to overcome some hurdles to get to your truth. When you find yourself saying “I just wish..” or “I should…” or “Why me?” take out your journal or talk these things out with a trusted friend.

  1. Share how you feel. Get it out, soul-searcher! When you’ve felt the peak and ebb of your feelings, ask yourself the following.
  2. What am I in control of?
  3. What am I not in control of?
  4. What am I expecting to happen?
  5. Is what I’m expecting to happen/what happened in my direct control?
    1. If YES: (your thoughts/actions/attitude/putting your phone down) take those steps. Write down a revised positive mantra that you can use to replace the unhelpful “i wish” or “I should” statement.
    2. If NO, ask yourself: What do I need to let go of? What can I ask for help with?
  6. The checker question: After the above steps, write down how you can best take care of yourself, your health, and your happiness, regardless of the outcome. Make sure – whatever you do – is aligned with taking care of yourself and your values.

SuperStep5 (Getting Stronger) EveryDay Superhero Method EXTRA CREDIT: Do the above exercise, then ask yourself what kinds of lessons the universe might be showing you right now. Then, practice feeling gratitude for those lessons!

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