What do you do when you’re stuck? Actually, you might not be stuck, you might be full. This story and the following revelation were inspired by 100 coffee dates in 2022 + 2023. Many thanks to the beautiful souls I connected with who were vulnerable enough to share their hopes, struggles, and stories.
I woke up this morning, deflated. The muscles in my body like a clausterphobic spring, gasping for light and space. I definitely needed a longer warmup for that that millenial-dominated dance event the other night. Before I moved, I sent loving relaxation stretches to my aches.
My head swam to the next sea of thoughts. I didn’t get all my work done last week. How am I supposed to do all this stuff with only a few hours to work a day? I am not superwoman. I am barely floating in many new oceans in which I feel but a minnow. My stomach sank over to more familiar waters,
Gotta make the marinade for the chicken, roast the squash, call the dentist, connect with the kids at breakfast, and then look up if long-term Airpod usage will damage their hearing like going to grunge concerts probably damaged mine.
I took in a big breath and exhaled, mentally hugging my highly-sensitive-momma-entrepreneur self, and said we’ll figure today out together. I nabbed my eye mask, rolled up the covers, and put on a meditation.
But I haven’t always been this calm with so much going on. Just a dozen years ago, the minute I would wake up, it was off to the races. Kids, cooking, job, volunteering, planning, cleaning, cooking, kids, bed. Round and round the cycle. And I felt like, no matter how much I did, I was stuck. However, my schedule now isn’t that much different than then.
But, now, my life is full of Joy.
Then, my life was full of dread and worry.
What changed?
Then, I felt like a goldfish, trapped, swimming for everyone else. Trying to get all the things done; never feeling accomplished. Apologizing for my less-than-perfect results.
Now, I know where I swim. I know how much time I’m dedicating to me, my kids, my work, my community. And I know how to balance my time so I’m joyfully swimming – most of the time.
If you feel stuck, it could be that your life is full, but not in a way that’s filling you up. Here are two simple words to help you dedicate your time to what means more for you.
So, my dear, You are not stuck; you might be full in a way that has you swimming in circles. It’s time to release and receive.
Release.
To find more Joy, sometimes we need to Release things from our lives that keep our mind, and heart stuck in unhappy, sometimes destructive, though loops. Ask yourself then act on these questions
- Are there expectations of myself an others I need to release?
- Is there a label I need to let go of so I can embrace a more compassionate self-image?
- Are there relationships that are no longer serving me?
- What judgements and images of perfection can I loosen my grasp on to embrace being a Human-In-Progress?
- Can I Try My Best and let that be enough?
EXAMPLE: From then to now, I released the labels that I had to be perfect and I had to sacrifice myself for everyone else to be “good”. I let go of what others thought of me and any assumptions I was making. I let go of putting myself last.
Receive.
You cannot catch a ball if your hands are already full. The same is with our lives. We cannot make room to receive all the good if our hands are full and our eyes are looking at everyone else.
Think about the earth, even as the leaves decay into the earth, they give themselves; the earth receives their nurtients. The earth then creates new life and breath for us to receive. And, as we exhale, we breathe out exactly what the plants need to receive to grow, die, and give nutrients to the next beings. Receiving is part of the nature of things. Become a Receiver. Ask yourself these questions
- What is keeping me from asking for help?
- What is keeping me from finding support?
- Why do I think I have to do this all by myself?
- How can I practice saying Thank You and feeling grateful for all I receive?
- How can I practice feeling worthy of living my life for me first, so I can receive in love – and not be needy of – others’ praise and attention?
EXAMPLE: Now, I take time to care for myself. I listen to, accept, and respond to my needs first. Now, I am direct and honest with my requests for help, and harbor no assumptions. I know I only control the asks, not the results. I take nothing personally. I am open to receiving love and gratitude from myself and others.
Affirmation for the Road: Because I Release and Receive, I now have more room to Joyfully create and care for everyone in my life, from a place of intentional fullness.
