Welcome back to the SoulSanity Four Agreements Series. These stories show how I, Heidi Esther, work on adopting the Four Agreements. What are The Four Agreements? They are four simple, profound ways you can choose to walk in life that will transform it. Given to us by the wise Don Miguel Ruiz, the second agreement is: Don’t Take Anything Personally.
Agreement 1 / Agreement 2 / Agreement 3 / Agreement 4
A morning fit for a highly intuitive sensitive
A faint whine like a seagull meets my ears. Too early. I roll away from the sound. Soon, a louder whine emerges. Why? I lean up and squint to make out the first number on my clock: five. UGH. I turn on ocean shore background noise to complement the seagull whine coming from my step-dog, Elvis. Like I’m sleepin’ on the beach.
Two sharp barks stab me awake like pencils in my ears. My Chiweenie, Olive, has joined the dog wake-up party. Super.
Clearly, neither dog knows that this is my morning for journaling. Also known as Heidi’s soul restoration time. And I need good sleep to make it happen. Another sharp bark moves me out of bed as if I sat on fire ants.
With my robe and slippers on, I unlock Elvis, our Italian Greyhound. This big-chested, lanky-legged mini version of the same name creaks out of his crate, shakes, and sidles next to me. I hear whines from Olive, but I can’t get her. I mutter “Hold on while I take Elvis.”
Unlike Olive, who goes potty outside, Elvis is litter-box trained. I scoop him like the Flash.
Then, the real race begins.
The outhouse-shuffle
I unlock Olive, and she races around like an overspun top, hopping and spinning around.
She then hauls for the back door like a horse at the Kentucky Derby. I follow suit; open the door. And she runs. And keeps barking. Yes, my dog barks at everything, including leaves. Sorry, neighbors.
Leaning inside the backdoor to watch Olive, Elvis sidles next to me. I lean down to give him his good morning pet-pets. Then, my stomach clenches.
She’s still barking. Shit. Our neighbors’ dogs must be out. I need shoes.
In snow boots. I catch Olive, apologize to my neighbor, bring Olive in, put her harness on, and let her back outside. Nothing like getting a few steps in before writing time.
After paw-wiping is when I saw it.
Doggy Doo-Doo PinBall
Poop. In the middle of the living room carpet. What the fuck? Elvis never does that! Is he out to get me? My face closes.
“Bad boy, Elvis!” I go to the bathroom and grab some toilet paper to cover the poop. I need cleaning spray. Downstairs I go.
That’s when I noticed something else next to my slipper at the bottom of the stairs. I froze.
Poop on the stairs? He’s definitely out to get me. I bend down like a mime and pull off one slipper: Clean. My other slippered foot was still on the stair above the poop. Oh no. I slid the slipper off as if it might bite me.
Poop again.
Like Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom, I step around more poop, throw slippers in the wash, grab the spray, and clean up. A circle of thoughts swirls around in my mind… Elvis never does this stuff to Stacey.
After cleaning up everywhere, I am ready for writing. “All right, Olive and Senor Poo-Poo Pants, let’s go downstairs.”
Olive moves her body around like a rhino from under covers in her crate: tossing and throwing her head back and forth and…
…launching poop in front of my feet.
The heat rose in my cheeks; my hands went straight to my hips. “Seriously, turd-heads, did you plan this?” Elvis darts out of the room. “Go ahead, poop in another spot to ruin my whole day, see if I care!” spits out of my mouth like overheated oil on the stove.
I sat down next to Olive’s crate. Why me? Why today? Olive slinks out of her crate like a snake then flops on her back.
All I can think is…why do my dogs hate me?
I look at my dog, flopped next to me in shame. She looks up at me with her sweet chestnut-brown eyes, her floppy ears in foxy position on the floor. Fine. I rub her belly, and my anger subsides like rain moving from downpour to sprinkle.
I guess you dogs just gotta poop sometimes. So, this dog momma is gonna have crappy mornings. I smile, clean up, grab my journal, and head downstairs.
Ready for More? Agreement 1 / Agreement 2 / Agreement 3 / Agreement 4
Agreement 2 Benefit: Openness
The below is an excerpt from this article
“As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.
If you keep this agreement, you can travel around the world with your heart completely open and no one can hurt you. You can say, ‘I love you,’ without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. You can ask for what you need.”
Mom-munity Builder
While reading the book will give you a big description of this agreement, here’s one of the biggest and most mind-blowing truth-bombs I’ve heard in my life. Are you READY?
NOTHING anyone does (or says) is because of you.*
*Yes, even if it’s about you. Or directed at you. Hint: It’s about them and how they perceive the world. Period.
This makes sense if you understand the old addage Hurt people hurt people. Think about it: when you’re happy and in a generous mood, you’re giving. If you’re sad, you wonder if hope is dead. If you’re joyful, you sprinkle your positivity in the world like throwing petals in the sunshine.
PROMPT: The next time you feel frustrated over what someone else did or said, pause before you respond. Take three deep breaths. Then, ask yourself: Am I taking any part of this personally?
Please let me know what you experience if you start adopting the second agreement!
With love, light, and laughter,
Heidi Esther, your SoulSanity Bear
