Category: mom-guilt

How can you live Guilt Free? Here’s your DIY Cheat sheet! 👇 💃 🥰

• Know you are just as worthy as everyone else.
• Soften The Inner Critic
• Take care of yourself first for once, dammit!
• Relax / Journal / talk out alternate solutions.
• Learn about and embrace your power that is your value center
• Ask for help without feeling bad.
• Figure out what your values are!
• Practice setting boundaries that honor your values.
• RESULT?
• Avoid proven long-term guilt consequences

So, that’s the secret sauce.

If you are ready for some targeted lessons that will eradicate this guilt, I have something else.

Guilt-FREE Life! Course

What is it? Seven Bite-sized, empowering Lessons on how to get rid of guilt. Specifically made for busy working women, mommas, and helping professionals. One email a week, delivered straight to your inbox, for seven weeks. Each short video lesson building upon the last. Each lesson gives you the tools to understand and find peace from the guilt-monster.  Each lesson is small enough to fit in the busiest of lives! 

⭐️ PLUS! One powerful, comprehensive, playful, yet-not-overwhelming workbook to accompany you on your journey. 

⭐️ PLUS! Portal to access all the lessons at once if you want to binge them! 

And…bonuses!

• BONUS! One 45-minute Laser-focused Joy Session to help you with any sticking points, valued at $150! 
• BONUS! 7-day 💯% money-back guarantee! 

NO time? No Problem! If you can read these messages, you have time for the course! 

So, really, how much would you pay for a guilt-free life? If you knew you’d never feel that pang again? 

My migraine-ridden overworked soul would have paid thousands of dollars… 

But you’re in luck 🙂 

Really, I want you to imagine a guilt-free life. Yes, this is the first step!

Visualize pulling out that guilt-thread from your brain and heart and putting it in a museum. Or better yet, JAIL! 

What would you feel like? What would your life look like? What would you feel free to do if you couldn’t feel any more guilt? Do you feel that tingly wide-eyed excitement of a kid looking at a giant piece of chocolate ganache cake, fork at the ready? 

Write down how you could take a long lunch, or get a guilt-free massage while the kids are at school… Write down the dream. Seriously!

This is the first step of untangling your life from your guilt. Are you ready for the next step? The keys are waiting for you! 🔑

Your Journey to Freedom Starts Here >

So, you’re trying to do it all, take care of it all, and you got this guilt that you want to go away, you now know it’s because it’s a feeling created from a thought you have. 

What’s the solution? 

Root out and change the guilty thought. 

There are left-brain and right-brain thought patterns we’ve learned from family, society, community, then reinforced ourselves, that keep us in this guilt loop. That keep us stuck in a mucky old fishbowl of someone else’s needs. 

That keep us from walking our true, scary, brave, more joyful path. That keep us from reveling in our own Joyfully Ever After Ocean. 

On average, us humans think 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day. And only 5% of them are conscious!

👉 Here’s a link to a workbook on Core Beliefs that can help you bring some of those unhelpful, unconscious thoughts to the surface. (best done with a therapist if you’re new to core beliefs!)

Another answer that’s more fun?

Imagine your Guilt-Free life 🌈 >

Guilt is an emotion. It’s neither good nor bad. In your body, feelings are chemical reactions that we’ve evolved to feel based on what we are thinking. 

YES! It’s our thoughts (we have 60,000-80,000 per day, fyi) that trigger our emotions, not what is happening. 

Here’s an example: 

Say you got married on a beach. It was picture-perfect, clear skies, turquoise water, a soft kiss of wind keeping all the bugs at bay. You embraced, toasted with your best man and maid of honor, spent your honeymoon there… 

When you thought of that beach, you’d be flooded with all the good feels, right? 

What if, on the same beach, you didn’t get married. What if, at this paradise point, you were playing in the water. You were pulled under by the undertow, and almost drowned? 

And, whenever you thought of that beach, or any beach, you’d be flooded with an entirely different set of feelings – fear, helplessness, exhaustion? 

Guilt is the same way.  Now we know that it’s our thoughts – that we don’t even notice – that trigger its unwelcome arrival. 

Here’s what you gotta do to replace those thoughts, and become guilt-free. 

READ ON TO Guilt-Busting 101 >

If you’re still reading this, try clapping your hands together 10 times. Each time you high-five yourself – or someone else – it releases a feel-good hormone called dopamine. Ahhh. Now, where were we?

Hey you! Woman who Takes Care of the World, Helper-Extraordinaire! First, and I want you to hear this CLEARLY! 

You’re not doing anything wrong when guilt strikes. It just feels like it. Here are some facts…

You are Loved. Creative. Hella-Resilient. Whole. As a human being, not as a human doing. How do I know? Because that’s how I felt once I got rid of all the gunk hanging in my way of seeing myself clearly. And I witness women all the time, remembering this truth. Knowing this.

Here’s some guilt facts that will appease your left brain, about that pesky guilt… 

So, you know what’s crazy about the kind of guilt that comes from wanting to make everyone happy and feeling that conflict, because you feel like doing something different?

Fact: in psychology, this feeling some people call it “mom-guilt” is actually not grounded in reality. It comes from your noggin. 

Say whaaaaa? 

Okay, so, say I robbed the chocolate bank, because I was desperate for 72% dark, and I couldn’t find it anywhere. When I got home and took a bite, it wouldn’t taste as smooth, bitter, and rich as normal. Why? Not because it wasn’t delish, but because it was laced with guilt. Moral Guilt. My internal standards of integrity would be going bonkers. Then, I’d likely bring the chocolate back, apologize, and serve my sentence in chocolate-making jail. 

But the guilt that we experience IS NOT the same as Mom Guilt. It’s called Moral Guilt.

Mom-Guilt doesn’t have anyone to apologize to. Why? Because on the outside, we’re doing all the things and taking care of all the things. Doing 💯 x 10! On the outside, it looks like we love people and they love us. We haven’t done anything wrong in the eyes of anyone else.

Mom-Guilt comes from how we’re talking to ourselves about what’s going on. 

PSST! Want something to do that reminds you of all the love you have to give? Hold your hands together. Why? One, it’s fun to see which fingers go first. Second, it will remind you that you, beautiful soul, are also your own best friend, and deserve love from yourself. Time to stop being your own mean girl. 

So, here’s the real down low  >

And can you make everyone happy? Or, should you? Follow this series to freedom from everyone’s most-hated house-guest, guilt (or mom-guilt)

A quick story

I stared at my Christmas to do list in my minivan, my brow furrowed so strongly it could direct a current. I paid my sitter for four hours. How much can I get done in one afternoon? What’s the most efficient path? When will they start noticing that all the meals are only semi-homemade, or pick ups? Will all that sodium affect their blood pressure when they’re older?  

Then, it hit me. 

A visual distortion covering my left eye. Like looking through a kaleidoscope, but an evil kind. My stomach sank, like it got punched. Breathing went shallow. My heart started pounding. 

Another timer goes off in my head. I have 30 minutes to get home before it hit. 

A cold sweat covered my body as I drove as safely and fast as possible back home, with only half my normal vision. 

Nothing’s getting done. Things aren’t going to get done. 

The tension grew; I felt I’d been punched in the stomach a second time. 

I arrived home, thanked my neighbor for watching the kids and kept her there, drank so much water until I thought I’d puke, took my migraine meds that never worked, and settled in for 24 hours of non-productivity, saturated in an all-too-familiar feeling, 

Guilt.

That Feeling

Do you feel that – that striving to not disappoint anyone, and then WHAM, outta nowhere, you just can’t fulfill the obligation? And you feel just awful? Or you know that your time would be better spent (sleeping, self-care, whatever that means).

Or maybe you say yes, but you know you said it because (you are the friend who can be counted on, you want to be the good mom, the worthy daughter?) and part of you *knows* that you’re gonna pay the price in some way? Like get sick or stay up too late and mess the rest of your week? 

What can you do? How can you get rid of that nagging feeling? Or can you? 

Yes, you can! First, if you’re still here, take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. Try doing this three times – with the exhale longer than the inhale. 

And guess what? Here’s something crazy-but-true about that guilt that we experience. 

Go here next >