Elvis Series 1/3: 10 Things I hate about her dog , Elvis Series 2/3: The Fire Swamps, Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning
In My Bedroom
I paced in my bedroom. No other people were home. Just Elvis.
What should I do about him? What can I do? What am I going to do? It’s getting louder. I can’t handle it.
The pacing. The whining. The vomiting. The pooping outside his appointed area.
It’s been 5 days since his dog mom (my fiancee) – left. Elvis, her Italian Greyhound, is miserable. Therefore, I am miserable.
Before this, we achieved real progress, he and I:
- I put up a gate at the bottom of the stairs. We stopped the vicious cycle of FIRST: Elvis whines by our door SECOND: we try to wait him out LAST: we are too tired and let him in bed. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. (without the fresh-hair smell)
- I labeled him the Velcro Dog so I accept he’s a one-woman dog. And not to expect any kind of affection. I feel better inside. It hurts being ignored all the time. Even by a dog.
This is Elvis’ life right now: He paces and whines. He may lay down for 30 seconds. Then he looks at the front door, and up he starts again. Is this what babies with colic are like? If so, I have so much empathy for their mothers right now. But, they outgrow the colic, right? They don’t have it when they go to school? I’ve never seen a vacuum in the corner of a kindergarten room poised for nap-time.
And then it started.
The Fire Swamps
Meet Urchin-Judgy-Pants Llama (yes, like a llama with a studded collar and pleated mom- capri khakis on that show the mom-pudge) on one shoulder and Pegasus-Rainbow-Unillama on the other.
Judgy-Pants: Elvis is a dog. Just pretend he’s not there. Or you can put him on his lead outside to give you a break. For 5 days.
Rainbow: He’s a dog. He doesn’t understand and needs your love, not to feel abandoned outside. Again.
Judgy-Pants: Just ignore him. Eventually he’ll calm down. He doesn’t even like you!
Rainbow: C’mon. You know when he looks a certain way, he’s a dead ringer for Jimmy Durante. How can you be mad at that?
Judgy-Pants: You and the dog are like two rotting tomatoes on the vine. You don’t even like raw tomatoes! Just pick yourself, and go on with your life!
Rainbow: You know what tomatoes are good for? BLTs. Always room for a happy tomato on a BLT. A little bit of Miracle Whip…
Judgy-Pants: Focus, Heidi. What you really need is freedom. From Elvis. Maybe you could build him a house. Outside. Hay makes a nice bed in the winter.
Something settled inside of me. I walked down the stairs. A shaking body and dark, withdrawn eyes quietly waited for me to open the gate. Tail firmly tucked.
Rainbow: See? This animal is suffering.
Me: What am I gonna with you, Elvis?
Judgy-Pants: You don’t need this kind of codependent weight in your life. You’re just figuring yourself out!
Rainbow: Yes, you are trying to figure yourself out. You don’t have to like him, but can you be his friend for just 5 days?
I leaned on the wall and cried. Elvis came over and sat next to me. And leaned on me. I put my hand on his back, and he didn’t leave.
Me: I’m sorry you can’t handle right now. Me neither, buddy. But I’m going to do my best, for me and for you. God put you in my path for a reason. And I don’t think it was to teach me how to build dog houses.
Judgy-Pants: HEY! Don’t say I didn’t warn you! His brain is probably the size of an almond – he’ll never learn.
Yea, probably. But I can.
POEM: in the dark
You must first embrace the dark, your hidden dark, before you can hold its hand and show it the way into the light, your brilliant light.
READ THE LAST STORY >>> Elvis Series 3/3: The end of the Dog-inning
The SoulJourner QUESTion
My codependent tendencies were constantly triggered by Elvis. I felt like he was put in my life to infuriate me. Once I let the anger go, I realized he didn’t make the wound, he was just poking it. I was mad at almond-brain for keeping my wound open. And, honestly, ashamed over being so similar.
PROMPT: (you get a choice!)
- SERIOUS: Have you ever had a pet or a kid (or a coworker/family member) repeatedly do something that bothers the hell outta you? How do you handle it?
- FUN: Share about one of your pet’s weird habits or something funny they recently did!
