What is Self-Leadership? Why it is critically important, and how you can curate more of it and save your day, every day?
Story: Burning Day
I sat on my bed, staring, no, squinting at the clock on my dresser. Why? I had my glasses off. Why? Because I was crying. Why? Well, that’s complicated, but I’ll give you the top reason.
That day was Sunday. And not just any Sunday. My first day without kids, my wife, an appointment or task on my calendar in four months. A day where I needed to capitalize on Every. Waking. Moment to work. Specifically, to write my signature Self-Leadership keynote that had been lounging around in my head for at least two years.
And recently I declared to the Universe that I was ready. And, like a lightening bold, the opportunity came to share it. Like weeks before the date. (GULP) And, like an ambitious professional speaker and joy-bringer, I said HELL YEA!
And then I stalled – kids, meetings, dinner. I scribbled an outline. Then, I got quiet, a little snarky, and withdrawn. (Sorry about our date, Stacey.)
Then it was Sunday. The Day. The day the writing rubber met the road. What did I do?
I tried to fix a non-functional burner on my stovetop. (NOTE: I’m not that kinda handy.) Then, I spent two hours Grumpy-Smurf style beating myself up about it. I felt like a failure in every sense of the word, in every domain of my life.
A voice inside of me said “Enough is enough.” And I sat down and cried.
A little calmer, I started putting overly-heavy pen to paper. For the keynote, of all things. (Sorry, audience.)
Three hours later, I felt a little better. I was about half way through. More tears. After crying, though I really, really, didn’t want to, I meditated. I directly faced all that not-polite screaming in my head for 25 minutes. I took deep, belly breaths. I felt like I was in a rowboat with someone stomping their feet, splashing their oar at me, and rocking the boat to tip it. I kept breathing.
I got up, calmer. Took the dogs for their walk like I was a dead man walking, even more annoyed than usual at Olive needing to sniff every three feet (Sorry, Olive.)
After dinner is emotional check-in time with my wife. But after dinner, I apologized and said I didn’t want to talk. (Sorry, Stacey.)
“It’s time” a voice inside of me said. I made and ate my favorite brownies. Then, I cuddled with my dog while watching Ted Lasso, and went straight to bed.
The next day, I cleaned up my inner house, kinda like you’d imagine people sweeping up streets with push brooms after a flood. I had a productive and joy-filled day.
So, what happened here? Am I bipolar? Am I in need of a therapist, again? How did I turn that heaviness around so quickly? One word: Self-Leadership.
5 Keys of Self-Leadership
Worthiness. I let go of giant expectations for my day, and took responsibility for my joy. I tapped into my worthiness – that I deserved to get back to a place of calmness and happiness, which opened the door to
Resilience. I practiced Patience, Compassion, Consistency, Courage, and Curiosity. I sat with myself. I wrote some of the keynote out of my head to keep me moving forward. Both of those actions opened the door for
Support. I meditated to remember that, when I’m quiet, I feel my strongest connection to God, my Higher Power, my loving family and friends, my future and past selves. Yes, even if I have to listen to inner temper tantrums. I scheduled friend time the next week to continue to process. And throughout the whole day, I developed
Emotional Intelligence. I faced my emotions. And I listened to what I needed in the moment and, without hesitation, gave it to myself. I knew I might make decisions or comments I regretted, (hello, past experience) so I fed myself some fudgey brownies and dog love instead. And, overall, I ended up with a heaping plate full of
Self-Wisdom. I grew in my knowledge that I am an extroverted feeler. That I need days and poems and friends to process events – large and small. My dad was in the hospital recently. I am pivoting my business to open up to one-on-one coaching. I don’t drive my kids to school any more.
Worthiness, Resilience, Support, Emotional Intelligence, and Self-Wisdom are the key principles to unlocking your Joyful life, and saving your day, every day.
SUPERHERO STEP: Want to know if you need a booster shot in any of the Goldfish Self-Leadership Principals? 👇
Are you ready to cut to the chase and know exactly what you need to create your Joyfully Ever After? contact me and let’s chat . 🙂
Sending you love, light, laughter, and acceptance for all of who you are, no matter how you are, every day.
