What’s a permission slip and what can it do for your life? Anything you want or everything that’s , depending on who’s writing it.
“T-minus one hour, ladies!” a Cheer-Bear voice booms from behind my door. I look up and stare at a new version of me in a round bulb-encased mirror. I’m sixty minutes from sharing my truth with a thousand people. Almost nine hundred more than I’ve ever been in front of, if you’d like to know.
My brain starts chucking thoughts at me.
My eyebrows are Cindy-Crawford dark. My eye lids, a mix of fifty shades of brown. I squeeze my icy hands and congratulate myself for bringing my lip stain. A shudder runs down my spine, and I send a prayer of pride to my little me who survived many grandma wet-lipstick kisses when she was young. I take a breath and feel my stomach relax. Ahhh.
Then, another, familiar voice takes over.
How the hell am I going to go up on stage? This isn’t me, is it? I mean, I just learned about eyeshadow two weeks ago, now eyebrows? My story isn’t nearly as wrenching as others…. But whenever I envision my future, this is it, saddle shoes, momma bear inspiration, and all.
My inner critic starts up; I feel my stomach curl back in a knot, like my dog when she doesn’t have her blankie. My shoulders hunch.
What should I do? How can I feel better? If this is the path I want, why isn’t everything puppies and rainbows?
I swig some peppermint tea, stand up, and grab my headphones. I walk into the snack room and pull a chair to the corner, put my Good Luck Bear in my lap, clasp my hands, and close my eyes.
Fifteen minutes later, I open them with my answer.
An hour later, I walk up to a bright flood light, blocking my view of the many people in the audience. I can’t help a broad smile crossing my face as bright as an unobstructed sunrise. My whole body relaxes, as I feel love from so many who came to support me – on stage and in the audience.
Before I begin, I repeat the answer that came to me in the stillness.
No, it wasn’t any response I knew oh so well: Not a response to suck it up, buttercup. Neither was it more deep breaths to quell my nerves. Not was it a pledge to get through it as fast as possible and go back into hiding.
What did I say to myself?
I give myself permission to play.
The SoulJourner Permission Slip
We grow up in a world of rules. And we learn to follow them so well, soon, those rules come from the inside. We unconsciously rule over ourselves with rules we never questioned.
When we try to do new or scary things as adults, this can pose a problem. The rules win. Unless we take our power back and give ourselves permission to do things differently.
In Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic, she talks about writing yourself a Permission Slip from The Principal’s Office. About thinking over all the ways in your life that you’re governing and limiting yourself, and writing yourself a way to get out of it.
For those of us who like journaling and self-reflecting regularly, this works oh-so-well. However, I know a lot of people who don’t. Including me, sometimes! Here’s a solution for everyone!
Here’s a quick and powerful reframe I use when I feel “I can’t have or do something” or “Stuck” or “frustrated.”
What do I need to give myself permission to do, right now, to feel better?
And Pause, Listen + Act. A lot of times, it’s taking a break to feel a feeling or workout. Sometimes, the answer is toast. And sometimes, it’s setting a boundary. Like last night when my wife was ready to talk family budget, and I was already in bed. So, instead of sitting up, exhausted, I said, “I’m done; how ’bout this weekend?” Win. Win.
Every day, when you come up to a place you feel stuck. Pause, listen and give yourself permission. To make mistakes. To eat all the nachos. To not know why you wanna do something. To drive around with your teddy bear. To have fun with big stakes on the line.
Would love to know what the next thing is you give yourself permission for!
