And can you make everyone happy? Or, should you? Follow this series to freedom from everyone’s most-hated house-guest, guilt (or mom-guilt)
A quick story
I stared at my Christmas to do list in my minivan, my brow furrowed so strongly it could direct a current. I paid my sitter for four hours. How much can I get done in one afternoon? What’s the most efficient path? When will they start noticing that all the meals are only semi-homemade, or pick ups? Will all that sodium affect their blood pressure when they’re older?
Then, it hit me.
A visual distortion covering my left eye. Like looking through a kaleidoscope, but an evil kind. My stomach sank, like it got punched. Breathing went shallow. My heart started pounding.
Another timer goes off in my head. I have 30 minutes to get home before it hit.
A cold sweat covered my body as I drove as safely and fast as possible back home, with only half my normal vision.
Nothing’s getting done. Things aren’t going to get done.
The tension grew; I felt I’d been punched in the stomach a second time.
I arrived home, thanked my neighbor for watching the kids and kept her there, drank so much water until I thought I’d puke, took my migraine meds that never worked, and settled in for 24 hours of non-productivity, saturated in an all-too-familiar feeling,
Guilt.
That Feeling
Do you feel that – that striving to not disappoint anyone, and then WHAM, outta nowhere, you just can’t fulfill the obligation? And you feel just awful? Or you know that your time would be better spent (sleeping, self-care, whatever that means).
Or maybe you say yes, but you know you said it because (you are the friend who can be counted on, you want to be the good mom, the worthy daughter?) and part of you *knows* that you’re gonna pay the price in some way? Like get sick or stay up too late and mess the rest of your week?
What can you do? How can you get rid of that nagging feeling? Or can you?
Yes, you can! First, if you’re still here, take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. Try doing this three times – with the exhale longer than the inhale.
And guess what? Here’s something crazy-but-true about that guilt that we experience.
