What can you do when life hands you a snowball of challenges and all hope seems lost? Read the story or Click here to learn directly about which of the 5 Lies you might be living.
I sat at the kitchen table, staring at my screen in disbelief. My fingers froze above the keys. I couldn’t exhale.
3, 473
There were 3,473 transactions in my online store in three days. The first three days I took off in months.
I had my store set up to notify me of any transactions. Every one of them had slipped by like a swarm of bees, just waltzing in my front door.
I clicked in my store. Just over a hundred were successful. And they were all under the same name.
I pulled back from the table. Negative money thoughts swarming around in my head, stinging me. Money thoughts I’ve been working on for a couple of years now. To rid myself of a tsunami of unhelpful core beliefs I’ve ingested along my journey. About women and money. Creatives and money. Entrepreneurs and money.
I cried. And took deep belly breaths. Then walked. Looked at the tree tops to remind myself that the Universe is abundant even when the life stings. And then sat down with my top support member of my business – my unphased wife – and researched.
Card attacks. When online stores don’t have premium fraud protection tools set up, like Google’s recaptcha, they fall victim to people trying out stolen cards.*
One week later.
I sat next to my daughter, staring at my phone, wondering what was the best set up to take action shots of my son.
It’s his Senior Year. Captain of the Soccer Team. It’s the cross-town rivalry game. He’s gonna ask his girlfriend to Homecoming after the game – posterboard, flowers, and all. He just got his braces off. He’s sooo shiny.
The game stopped.
I looked up, wondering what’s going on. The group of alpha-soccer moms starts yelling at me, pointing to the field.
I look to see where my son is. He’s not laying dismembered on the field. Well, that’s good. I then see him, on his knees, next to his soccer bench, arms in the air.
“Hey Jonathan’s mom! I think your son just got his teeth knocked out!” yelled one.
I looked closer, and could see people looking at the field, like people would look for a lost earring. Wait. What? Did they say teeth – plural?
Six hours later, it is almost 1am. I open the front door for my codine-laden son. His two front teeth reinserted and stabilized with braces – again.
But we won’t know for weeks if he will keep them.
I don’t sleep, jolting into action every time I hear a noise.
I take off more work – to take care of my son, my sleep. My sanity.
One week later
I have upgraded the security in my online store. Refunded all but 17 transactions in my account. I will lose a few hundred dollars. Could have been financial ruin. I am abundantly grateful.
I worked through my grief and hopes over my son’s senior year. The image of myself that was entangled with it. Replaced it with looser and healthier thoughts. Kinda like getting rid of a tattoo and replacing it with a Post-It note.
My son is disappointed but not crushed. Or he’s repressing. Either way, I let him know I’m here for him when he gets sad.
I lean fully back into my work. Everything seems either pointless or infuriating. I’m not looking forward to my days; feeling my work doesn’t matter. I share my story; I connect; get amazing feedback. But noone is taking action.
I make myself take smaller steps, even though it feels I’m stuck in tar.
One week later
I am laying down on a cushioned massage table, in the center of a small room with dark wooden furniture. Rocking Chairs, end table, dresser, vanity. Kinda like if a collegiate art student was staying at Grandma’s house.
I am helping a new friend get her certification in Quantum Healing Hypnosis Therapy. Think energy healing meets past and future life visualizations.
Though I don’t know if it will help, I remain open and curious. I tell my wife all the time. “If you stomp into a forest yelling that there are no animals there, you will be proven right. But if you walk in quiet and listen, you don’t know what will happen.”
I learn I have some male Lion energy in me. I feel I have been displaced many times, and yet I thrive.
For some reason, this takes all the energy I have left. I am exhausted.
I give myself permission to sleep in; I sit under trees. I still get up to take tiny steps forward. Three days later, a large roar in my head wakes me up in the morning.
Enough is enough.
Resounds in my brain. A large flow of energy – anger – bubbles up from the inside, like I’m a volcano erupting.
Your Joyfully Ever After
I sit down with my morning coffee. I draw a circle on a piece of paper, and section it off in wedges. The circle in the middle is where I am at.
I separate myself from my situation, like I’m an observer.
I walk myself around to different perspectives of my situation. Every perspective has a title. “Puddle Momma” is one “Jealous Wife” is another. It’s a tool in Co-Active Coaching that I love. I call is Surveying. Embodying different perspectives of the same situation to process it.
I combine it with The Emotional Scale – an Emotional Intelligence tool – to rate the feeling where each title is at.
I go from Hopeless Puddle-Momma to Compassionate Co-pilot in one sitting. I pick an affirmation to embody the Co-Pilot. “I give myself grace.” I have agreed to lay down the Judgement and Listen like Switzerland to what is really going on.
I continue to stay open. Enjoy each day. My steps get lighter. I open myself to other healing tools – tapping, Gratitude, breathwork, friends.
I can feel the sun on my face again, no longer resentful for its heat.
The Lies
Just as I create joy amidst challenge, I walk alongside Women who Take Care of the World to empower them to find their authentic footing and create Their very own Joy – amidst the stress and struggle of modern day life.
If you are ready to ditch the crap feelings and create more joy – book a chat with me here.
Want a DIY solution? See the 5 LIES that might be keeping you from living your most joyful life – download the Lies + Truth here.
* My online store now has Premium Fraud tools enabled! It is *rediculously* secure 🙂 Order a signed copy of my book today! A donation from EVERY book sale is made to the Parkland Community College Women of Impact Scholarship Fund!
