One Lunch that was too big to Stomach

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God, I so miss going out to lunch…

My face turned hot. My lips pursed. My stomach lurched. I quickly grabbed my fork and knife and concentrated on cutting my pizza into toddler squares. Still listening to Betsy. 

Betsy: A woman I’ve known for a year. How could I not see? Was I, now, my own social media filter? Has she been presenting facts that I, simply, could not, would not – recognize? 

Not in a box. Not with a fox. Not in a car. Not in a bar. Not here OR there. I could not see the real Betsy anywhere?  

How I’ve known her: Highly-educated. Truth-seeker. Fellow creative. Resilient. 

AND, I just found out, on the other side of the table. Politically-speaking, that is. 

Yes, yes, yes. I know I will come across people who are different. I live in a blue town in a red county in a red state, except for Chicago. Which is so blue it might as well be called Blue Island. Which is actually the town where I grew up in. A very fun play-in-the-hydrant concrete-jungle kinda town. I can still remember how to double dutch. Though my knees wouldn’t approve. And I’d have to wear a liner. Hmmm.   

UGH, how did I not know?? Because I only talk with her about writing? Because she’s younger than me? Because we don’t see each other over adult beverages? 

I. Am. Not. Trusting. One. Single. Word. Out. Of. Her. Mouth. 

I leaned away but tried to keep my posture open. My arms wanted to cross. So bad. 

My conversation, with me 

In came two visitors:

(In case you’re new: Meet Urchin-Judgy-Pants Llama (yes, like a llama with a studded collar and pleated  mom- Capri khakis on that show the mom-pudge) on one shoulder and Pegasus-Rainbow-Unillama on the other.)

Judgy-Pants: You never felt close to her anyway. You knew, deep down, she was different from you. 

Rainbow:  Everyone is different, Heidi. You’ve accepted your weirdness: you have a collection of stones depending on how much you worry (flintstone for regular, bloodstone for serious, calcite for daydreams…) And that’s the beauty of humanity! Can I get an AMEN? 

Judgy-Pants: Not so fast. You know, with both sides of the political spectrum being fed “alternative facts”, there’s no way we’re ever gonna see eye-to-eye again. It’s like 1860. Migrate north while you can. 

Rainbow: YES, we’re divided. But we can be part of the solution instead of avoiding it. Like demanding our government do something about regulating companies that are fanning the false-fact flames in the name of The Almighty PROFIT. 

Judgy-Pants: Back to reality: Our government is, like, 30 years behind the technical revolution. I think they all recently got beepers. And being active isn’t going to change your mind about Betsy. 

Rainbow: How can knowing one more thing about her change your viewpoint? It’s not like she eats puppies or anything… 

Judgy-Pants: She might as well be! She might have other things that conflict with your values. You can’t trust her. 

Rainbow: Hold your horses, er, llamas. IS she untrustworthy? On the other side of the table? Looks to me like she’s trying to share her message with the world. Just. Like. You. 

Judgy-Pants: (grumbling) Fine. Tho I think she’s bad news. She’s not bothering me that much. Until we have a civil war. Then we’ll talk again. 

Rainbow: Hey…didn’t we agree there’s no good or bad? There’s life. And there’s accepting it. 

Judgy-Pants: Yea, I might have labeled her. I don’t know why I agreed to the non-judgment clause. ‘Cause, it’s my name. But it is more peaceful these days. 

Rainbow: You can probably blame the meditation practice. 

Judgy-Pants: Yea, it’s pretty comfy falling asleep in the chair. 

Rainbow: Totally. So, back to Betsy: she fails and gets back up, just like you. And she’s young, so she might not have a lot of friends on her side of the table. Which means she is battling more and lonelier than you can ever imagine!  

Judgy-Pants: (sigh) I feel proud to know our fellow human friend, Betsy? 

Rainbow: You go, girl! 

POEM: Avidyā 

There are eyes  
in front of
my sad, 

Glasses
in front of
my eyes, 

Shelves 
in front of 
my glasses,

Curtains
in front of 
the shelves, 

Windows
in front of
the curtains, 

Neighbor's roof
in front of 
the windows, 

Power lines
in front of 
neighbor’s roof,

Trees 
in front of 
the power lines,

Clouds
in front of 
the trees,

And a sun
in front of
the clouds. 


What a 
Glorious
Sunrise. 

The SoulJourner QUESTion

Avidyā is a Sanskrit word whose literal meaning is ignorance, misconceptions, misunderstandings, incorrect knowledge. As my yoga teacher, Rachel, says: it’s like a smudged perception in the way of seeing the actual truth, like smudged glasses. Like the 20 things that were in my way of seeing the sun. Like the million judgments that were in my way of seeing my friend, Betsy.

PROMPT: Are you ready to feel freedom from your frustrations and annoyances that prevent you from seeing life more clearly? Then you are ready to take a Freedom Shower! 5 simple steps to get you feeling squeaky clean (on the inside) 🙂