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God, I so miss going out to lunch…
My face turned hot. My lips pursed. My stomach lurched. I quickly grabbed my fork and knife and concentrated on cutting my pizza into toddler squares. Still listening to Betsy.
Betsy: A woman Iâve known for a year. How could I not see? Was I, now, my own social media filter? Has she been presenting facts that I, simply, could not, would not – recognize?
Not in a box. Not with a fox. Not in a car. Not in a bar. Not here OR there. I could not see the real Betsy anywhere?
How Iâve known her: Highly-educated. Truth-seeker. Fellow creative. Resilient.
AND, I just found out, on the other side of the table. Politically-speaking, that is.
Yes, yes, yes. I know I will come across people who are different. I live in a blue town in a red county in a red state, except for Chicago. Which is so blue it might as well be called Blue Island. Which is actually the town where I grew up in. A very fun play-in-the-hydrant concrete-jungle kinda town. I can still remember how to double dutch. Though my knees wouldnât approve. And Iâd have to wear a liner. Hmmm.
UGH, how did I not know?? Because I only talk with her about writing? Because sheâs younger than me? Because we donât see each other over adult beverages?
I. Am. Not. Trusting. One. Single. Word. Out. Of. Her. Mouth.
I leaned away but tried to keep my posture open. My arms wanted to cross. So bad.
My conversation, with me
In came two visitors:
(In case youâre new: Meet Urchin-Judgy-Pants Llama (yes, like a llama with a studded collar and pleated mom- Capri khakis on that show the mom-pudge) on one shoulder and Pegasus-Rainbow-Unillama on the other.)
Judgy-Pants: You never felt close to her anyway. You knew, deep down, she was different from you.
Rainbow: Everyone is different, Heidi. Youâve accepted your weirdness: you have a collection of stones depending on how much you worry (flintstone for regular, bloodstone for serious, calcite for daydreamsâŚ) And thatâs the beauty of humanity! Can I get an AMEN?
Judgy-Pants: Not so fast. You know, with both sides of the political spectrum being fed âalternative factsâ, thereâs no way weâre ever gonna see eye-to-eye again. Itâs like 1860. Migrate north while you can.
Rainbow: YES, weâre divided. But we can be part of the solution instead of avoiding it. Like demanding our government do something about regulating companies that are fanning the false-fact flames in the name of The Almighty PROFIT.
Judgy-Pants: Back to reality: Our government is, like, 30 years behind the technical revolution. I think they all recently got beepers. And being active isnât going to change your mind about Betsy.
Rainbow: How can knowing one more thing about her change your viewpoint? Itâs not like she eats puppies or anything…
Judgy-Pants: She might as well be! She might have other things that conflict with your values. You canât trust her.
Rainbow: Hold your horses, er, llamas. IS she untrustworthy? On the other side of the table? Looks to me like sheâs trying to share her message with the world. Just. Like. You.
Judgy-Pants: (grumbling) Fine. Tho I think sheâs bad news. Sheâs not bothering me that much. Until we have a civil war. Then weâll talk again.
Rainbow: Hey…didnât we agree thereâs no good or bad? Thereâs life. And thereâs accepting it.
Judgy-Pants: Yea, I might have labeled her. I donât know why I agreed to the non-judgment clause. âCause, itâs my name. But it is more peaceful these days.
Rainbow: You can probably blame the meditation practice.
Judgy-Pants: Yea, itâs pretty comfy falling asleep in the chair.
Rainbow: Totally. So, back to Betsy: she fails and gets back up, just like you. And sheâs young, so she might not have a lot of friends on her side of the table. Which means she is battling more and lonelier than you can ever imagine!
Judgy-Pants: (sigh) I feel proud to know our fellow human friend, Betsy?
Rainbow: You go, girl!
POEM: AvidyÄ
There are eyes  in front of my sad, Glasses in front of my eyes, Shelves in front of my glasses, Curtains in front of the shelves, Windows in front of the curtains, Neighbor's roof in front of the windows, Power lines in front of neighborâs roof, Trees in front of the power lines, Clouds in front of the trees, And a sun in front of the clouds. What a Glorious Sunrise.
The SoulJourner QUESTion
AvidyÄ is a Sanskrit word whose literal meaning is ignorance, misconceptions, misunderstandings, incorrect knowledge. As my yoga teacher, Rachel, says: it’s like a smudged perception in the way of seeing the actual truth, like smudged glasses. Like the 20 things that were in my way of seeing the sun. Like the million judgments that were in my way of seeing my friend, Betsy.