5 Caring Mindset Tips when life gives you lemons + 2 Best Mindset Books

Don’t gloss over your hardship. Greet it like a dear friend, who is ready to help you clear the way for more of your brilliance. For in the clearing, new buds will emerge to provide you new light, breath, and growth. Yes, Phoenix, you will rise again.

Heidi Esther, when life gives you lemons

When Life Gives you Lemons: A Story

I sat there on the curb, outside of my work. The day before spring break. The first day of my honeymoon. My work belongings in a cardboard box next to me.

Why didn’t I just drive to work today? Why is this happening to me? What about everyone else? I’m doing such a good job; it doesn’t make any sense. My mind circles down the drain as I hold back a damn full of tears.

Out of the side of my eye, I can see everyone else at my soon-to-be-former workplace (because, honey, I still had to show up for the next two months like the girl wearing a scarlet letter) eating chicken shwarma and laughing.

I spent the next week actually enjoying my honeymoon. Which consisted of days on a glorious southeastern Georgia island, nights writing and crying out the many ways I don’t belong and I suck.

me, 6 years ago

One of the most profound learning and growth experiences of my life…

Sucktown: Population of 1. Yep, that was how I felt. And, thankfully, I had tools.

Tools that helped me quickly shift these lemons into one of the most profound learning and growth experiences of my life. Because I had a Positive, Caring Mindset. It’s like I turned lemons into Lemon Cupcakes with Lavender Frosting! And I help other busy, generous, women going through life’s messes to do it, too!

Profound changes I started after that incident that help me still: Started Meditation (read: tapping intuition), became a certified laughter yoga instructor, starting noticing my strengths as a person, adopted Don Miguel Ruiz’ Four Agreements.

So, what do you do when life hands you three-ton lemons? How about just one? Do you blame yourself? Do you immediately look for something wrong in you? Do you bury yourself in work until your body gives out, or eat too much? Try this instead

5 Positive, Caring Mindset Tips

Here are 5 practical, powerful tips to develop a resilient, positive caring mindset. Yes, even when life gives you lemons. The first step is to practice self care. Because we need to recognize what we need if we are going to live into our most joyful selves. Steps two and three are to release internal criticism and move forward with curiosity. The fourth will help you let go of what you can’t control. The fifth step will help you reframe magnificent YOU in a positive, caring mindset.

1. SELF-CARE: Pause and give yourself some grace and care. Emotions and events take energy. Notice when you’re suffering or whining. Accept yourself in this moment. Breathe and stretch into tight spaces in your body. Offer yourself a blanket, some peanut butter toast, or a nap. This event is not something you deserve; it serves a greater purpose. Just like beautiful You.
2. Stop Internal Criticism. Post-it Note Exercise: What are you calling yourself? Notice how you are talking to yourself. Write all those names on post-it notes. Did you try your best? Will you try your best in the future? Then it’s time to drop them, burn them, and let em go. If that seems hard, try this. Make it an ‘and’. Combine it with another label that feels like it contradicts it to you. Here are some of my ‘and’ labels that help me. Divorced AND Happy. Mommy AND Top-Priority. Perfect and Learning. Kind AND Assertive.
3. Practice Shoes: Lessen your judgement and adopt curiosity. Visualization! Imagine putting on your favorite shoes. They repel all judgement and, instead, are your Practice shoes! Once you have them on, everything in life is Practice for something else. Look back on other challenging times; can you spot what you were practicing for? Listen with openness, curiosity, and practice shoes for your lesson.

4. Let Go: Say The Serenity Prayer. Yes, it’s a 12-step thing, AND a life thing, too! Here it is: God (or whatever Higher Power you believe in), grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Journal or listen for what can you let go and what’s not in your control. Who you aren’t. What didn’t happen. What did happen.
5. AFFIRM: Envision who you want to be right now. Create a positive statement on how you want to meet the world. What was I expecting to happen? Was that any different than what happened or what people said?

Grow Your Joyful Life Playshop: When life gives you lemons

FULL Playshop Playlist

2 Best Mindset Books

Here is my Book – For Cryin Out Loud – where I learn about how to adapt a positive, caring mindset. And if you’d like a signed copy, please email me at howdy @ heidiesther dot com

And the first book that gave me FULL PERMISSION to step into a positive mindset – overflowing with self care and how to love my quirky peculiar genius – while The Big Leap was great at providing steps – it was Sark.